Judge — October 14, 1922 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Excited Equestrian—Did you see a lady on a runaway horse? “Yeah. “Good heavens! “Didn't notice. S torres The hoss started buckin’ right here.” Which way did she go then?” *Wuz watchin’ the hoss.” tO JUDGE pays $10 weekly for the best story submitted for this page, and § best. All others at regular rates. NE ERN oil lease speculator, i tigating the West Texas fields, hired a ‘Texan as dri and guide, and asked so many “fool” questions he was an- swered in the same vein. A “road runner,” ies of snake-hunting bird seen only wuthwest_ and) Mexico appeared. “What kind-a bird is that?” “That i bird of paradise.” First. Prize N AUTOMOBILE JENS spceding-alongia ‘narrow wit: ing: réadl over Montara Nountail: \ tourist did not like the look of the many guldhes and: afler-rounding: @ aligen uum lis nervousness overcanié him and he turned to the driver. V2 he asked, “have we got any m turns like that?” “Well,” answered the driver, as he gave it more gas, “we have one inore ip here aibit where the radiator will rub the spare tire.” stage was Goin’ Damn fool's a long ways from ery ITTLE DOROTHY and her mother 4 went to the country on a “big choo- choo train” as Dorothy called it. When they had been on the ma while her mother heard her crying in the yard, Dorothy had the goat in one corner. “What is the matter?” asked the mother, “TE want) nannie’s — chewin’ dum,” was the reply. at T WAS S. P. C. A. day in a certain high school, and a well-known leader Dear FRes, of the movement made the principal i got the valve witch i bot from you alrite Iress. The speaker waxed cloquent but why you doan sen me no handel? what jn her appeal for the poor dumb animals, the use the valva when she doan have no ‘Then, apparently calmed down, she handel is my money not so good to you than” sighed and said: “Oh, students, if only he other felle i wate ten days and p> Ce eee tel lier for water like-bell for te You Knew what it is to be dumb! valve You know is hot somer and the wind she dont blow the wheel. You doan send me the handel pretty queek i send her back and i order some valva from krane companies goodbi, your fren Carapt Rocco. Since i write these i fin the goddam handel in the box excuse me plees. Second Prize ue following letter proves that in the midst of commercial strife some one is always putting joy into life. The A. B.C. Hardware Co., Banger, Me. sae mee. ~ ITTLE JOHNNIE 4 had just started to school. He became if terested in a little miss @ 4 of five rs and was very attentive on all oc- y 4 casions. One morning another boy —appropri- ated the young pencil. Little Johnnie, indignant, went over to the desk and took the pencil away from him. After school he was tell- Tel for the second Original, unpublished humorous stories only are wanted. LTHOUGH but four years old, Eliza- beth, a minister's daughter, had not been considered too young for careful in- struction in spiritual matters and though yet “of the earth earthly,” fully appre- ciated the interest of her parents in her spiritual growth One day she was called down. stairs from an absorbing morning with her toys by her mother who insisted that she should not go back until little brother finished his nap. “But, Mother, may I go and get just one doll?” “Yes, if you can get it quietly.” A few minutes’ intermission, the doll is procured, and Elizabeth rushes into her mother’s arms smiling radiantly. “Mother,” she says. “every time upstairs Jesus comes into my heart. With husky voice and moist eyes the mother clasps her child in her arms. w, Mother,” said Elizabeth, “may I go up stairs and play?” sae R. COUE'S auto-suggestion for dis- ciplining the subconscious mind is not without its dangers. Dorothy having cured herself of “nerves” by repeating “['m getting better every d “cont mended Dr. Coué’s formula to her de- voted and tractable swain, whose bow- legs were his only defect. Later, she regretted her rash tampering with the occult, for Jack wrote from his camp: Adorable Dot: Coué’s formula surely is some charm. I’ve been saying ‘Tm getting better every day,’ morning, noon, and night, and I'm no longer bow-legg —T'm knock-kneed.” = = aoe _ = VISITOR to Florida LX asked a negro if he knew of a bathing place free from alligators. The neg took him to a nearby spot and the visitor enjoyed his bath tremendously, staying in a half hour or more, After he came out of the water he asked: “How is it that there ing his story to his dad about the schoolmate who infringed on his rights and remarked, “Iam going to whip him Friday. “Why Friday?” “Well, “cause the te: all about it by Monday “Yours of the 13th inst. received and contents noted.” her will forget are no alligators hei where else T have bathe the alligators have been too thic “Well, there’s a reason, boss: Dese here alligators done been all seared away by the sharks.”