Judge — October 14, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Drawn by Water WHITEHEAD, Waiter—Will you have something with your dinner, sir? Banker—Yes, that little blond over in the corner. Killing with Kindness our village from him, id to him, “Oh, preacher, why such a dragging step? You've al- ways seemed a creature of faith and hope and pep. Your smile has been inspiring, when [ beheld the same, when I was vexed and tiring of all this mortal game, Your helpful admonition has healed more earthly ills than does the punk physician who feeds me beeswax pills. And now I am gadzooking and raisin mid laments, to see my pastor looking like twenty- seven cents.” “My heart is sad and weary, I would that I were ad, for all the outlook’s leery,” the parson sadly said. “How can a man feel hearty and joyous as he wends, when a donation party is framed up by his friends? My congregation’s coming to-night, to my abode, their hearts with kindness hummi ach with a junk-like load. cold raw dollars to buy myself new pants, and. shirts and linen collars, and corkscrews for my aunts. Oh, often have L hinted that coin is what I need; the kopeck newly minted, the silver chicken-feed. I yearn for higher wages, to ma the wheels go round, while I expound the pages in sacred leather bound. I need some pastor, and he MI low J sad and grim, as though some fierce disaster had knocked the tar by Walt Mason LAS, they will not grant me a decent FX sum in gold; but they would fain enchant me with gifts that knock me col To-night these worthy geezers will seck me where I dwell, and give me pairs of le jell; and doughnuts, pies and fritters, as hard as concrete blocks, and dandelion bitters, n socks; tin’ saucers, cups and dippers, cheap napkins and re- peat, and forty pairs of slippers that will not fit my feet. They think to make more sunny the weary life T le but, money, minted money—that is the stuff T need. T need the shining shilling, the pfennig and the frane, the yen that makes a killing, the coins that clink and clank. I need the quid and kroner, the bawbee and the groat, and this donation boner is sure to get my goat.” I said, “Well, VM be jingled! Your griefs are truly great”; and then my tears I mingled with those of that good skate. For there is nothing sadder beneath the shining sun, and nothing makes us madder than kindness overdone. tweezers, and jars of home-mi and rasping wo SOMETIMES the learned physician ‘who dopes me by the year, observes, “Your true condition is rather punk, I fear; your liver’s looking yellow, your rusty wishbone squeaks; so go to bed, and stay there dear fellow A rest is w all your ills, a rest and f; and pints of purple pill A rest’s the greatest’ treasure that mortal man can know; and [ regard with pleasure t Isof Doctor Dough. T'll lie in bed for far from thronging trails, and turn the rattling ss of fierce detective Alas, the neighbors kindly have heard that Toam ill, and blatantly and blindly to my nde they drill, All day and night th vound me, with kindness in their loc they come and sit around me and read me moral books. They say if I am taken they'll see my aunts are fed; they'll give greens and bacon, and prunes and bread. For hours they hover o'er me, around me they abide, and oh, the way they bore me with kindness misapplied! for six weeks. ing to banish nt bleeding, t you're nee * wore tales. Mother—And did my Tittle pet learn anything to-day in school? Her Baby—t learned two kids better'n to call me “Mama's little pet!” ttt “Ethel, where did you get this perfectly shocking book?” “At the corner bookstore, mama “Do you suppose he has another copy?” comicbooks.com