Judge — August 26, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— WO Kansas City business were discussing the relative merits of men and women engaged in business. “Women are more al than me declared one. “Tf she loves him there is nothing she wouldn't « r him. i would lie for him; steal for him.” "Then T guess [have never loved one,” declared the other emphatically. “1 will lie to “em and steal from ‘em, but never Kansas City Star. women for “em.” tot HE family were out of town, and the house was left. in charge of a young ning the door the first morning she found the charwoman standing there, ly been ringing and ringing said. “Why ever dic housemaid, On ¢ obvious! hour,” she In’t you come sooner?” “Oh, was that you?" replied the house- “You kept on so regularly that I the telephone!” maid, thought it) was only — tone : yourself. Philadelphia Star. ‘London Opinion. ttt “TI say this for my second ex-hus- “Singular fellow, Jones. One might bani say that he has a telescopic imagination.” “What?” “4 telescopic imagination? “He certainly pays his alimony much “Yes. He can't even tell the truth without getting it at least two sizes larger more promptly than my first one did.” than it is.’—Boston Transcript. —Detroit Free Press. IN THE TRAM CAR Old Dame—When I was your age, a young man would never let a lady stand in a tram car. “No. At that time, ma’am, people traveled in stage coaches.”—Kasper (Stockholm). Indignant Day-tripper (to sleeping wife)—'Ere, Alice, wake up and enjoy I ain't spent seven-and-a-tanner to bring you ’ere to go to sleep!— THE mother of two boys, aged respec- tively five and seven, had a hard question to settle the other day. The younger boy came to her crying with ex- asperation that he was “a nickel short.” “Well, what's the use of yelling about it?” said his older brother, who was calmly eating candy. “You don’t think I took it, do you?” “T don't say vou did.” the little fellow replied, “but Em a nickel short and you're cating candy.” Youth's Companion. ett married the usual man was being the parson askec A DEAF 4 and question, “Do you take this woman for your lawful wif “Eh?” said the deaf man. “Do you take this woman for your lawful wife?” this time a bit louder. The groom scemed to get T don't know,” he said. “s I've seen wuss than her awful. that didwt have as much money.”— Tit-Bits (London). ry “Son, I'm afraid you are not trying to make yourself useful about the office.” “But, father—" “PI admit that the gallantry of your conduct toward our prettiest stenographer could not be improved on, Raising a window to give her fresh air and putting ene down to prevent her from catching cold; fetching her a glass of water at frequent intervals and taking her out to lunch is all very well in its way, but it’s no great help to the business."—Birm ing- ham Age-Herald. st “How is the liquor. supply around here?” inquired an arid tourist. in the Ozarks. “Out!” succinctly replied Gabe Gos- nell of Fiddle Creek. “Since the infernal revenuers took to raiding round yur most folks is so dry t when they mail a letter they have to pin the stamp on.”— Kansas City Star. erry “My wife says she will leave me if I don’t quit smoking,” said Mr. Meekton, “Going home to her mother? Her mother smokes more than Washington Star. comicbooks.com