Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ays when Walter Johnson, of tors, was the acknowledged monarch of baseball pitchers, he tossed a game at the Polo Grounds against the Yanks which would have taken rank as an almost perfect performance but for two slips. Among the Metropolitan batsmen was an outfielder named Daniels, whose work with the stick was not caleulated to win great applause. One of Johnson's shoots caught Daniels on the head, and he dropped like a log; but came round after a time and resumed his place in the game. The next time he faced Walter he was cautious, but finally, to the bewilderment of the onlookers, reached out and cracked one on the nose for a two-base h the runner anchored on the keystone cushion, a rooter bellowed: “Great heavens! The man is still un- conscious!” te A COUNTRY merchant was in his 4% store when a little colored boy came in and the following conversation ensued “Boy, what is your name?” “My name is Ephum, suh.” “Well, Ephraim, what is your daddy’s name _ “Ah ain’t got no daddy.” “Ts your daddy dead?” Naw, suh, Ah ain't never had daddy.” “What is your mammy’s name?” no “Ab ain't got no mammy.” “Why, is she dead?” “Naw, Ab ain't mmy.”” “Weil, if you never had : daddy, how did you get he “Ahr dunno, sub, Pust time anything, Al’ wuz here.” suh, never had no n ammy and Ah knowed ats “Doe,” said Smithers, doesn’t seem to be as good as it Better look me over.” “Have you been indulging in the con- sumption of any private stock of liquor latel inquired the doctor after the ion Yes, Doe, T have,” rejoined Smithers. “Cut it out, or you'll gradually more and more deaf,” was the medical man’s advice. A few months later the physician met Smithers on the street and addressing him in a loud tone was surpr Smithers put up a hand and say genially: “Not so loud, Doc, not so loud. I ean hear you fine.” “Ah. you have eliminated the liquo! asked the doctor. “Absolutely,” was the reply. More months passed and the next time the doctor met Smithers he merely him casually in his ordinary tone of voict “You'll have to talk louder, Doc,” said Smithers. “Can't hear you.” ¢ “What's the idea?” asked the Doe. “my was. grow to see “Well, confidentially, Doc, it was this way. I decided that what heard wasn’t a goodas what I drank, and there you are. toe and a uvern N Englishman, an Trishman rs otchman were sitting in The Englishman and the Lrishman had both paid for several rounds of ale, but the Scotchman had not made the slightest movement toy The conversation turned toward racing and thence to the subj of close finishes. “The closest race 1 ever said the Englishn that n, “was a horse race in which one of the horses, when leaving saw,” the paddock, was stung on the muzzk by a be He won the race by the length of the bump which raised from the sting.” Phe closest T ever saw,” con- tributed the Scotchman, yacht race in which one of the yachts had been freshly painted. It won'the race by the width of that coat of paint.” They both turned expectantly. to the Trishman. he closest race I ever saw,” said he, “are the Scotch.” tot Overheard in the office: Sweet young thing to a clerk who is a golf enthusiast “How did you get on in the competition WS a “Oh, [owas 3 up and 2 to play “Oh, And when do you play the "—T. PL Low, “La Jolla, Cal. J. H. chalks his cue. The old master wore the most wonderful breeks that ever came to this country, first class, and his kitch- eners were the envy of every wop who works on the course. There never was a doubt about which was J. H.’s ball Drawn by RENE CLARKE. J. H. Taylor and Sandy Herd are here and there Sandy from the country, much hotter and drier than when he was here before. He uses the Hans Wagner grip. His waggle is fully copyrighted in Great Britain and U.S.A.