Judge — August 19, 1922 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Edwin Levick The Lonely Golfer’s Hant by M. H. Farrar LONELY GOLFER. stood forlorn vd te . once sb st 4 upon a batter Hlis w weakened visibly. His clubs lay shatte round about. With mien depressed and sad He held a putter in his hand. Alas! “Twas? all he had! g and sure, had The language which he onee had used, so sweet, so pure, so fair, Now rotted as it passed his lips, and soured the summer air! A natural hazard, full of woe, lay yawning at his feet, Its aspect like unto the bare, and bleak. rave, forbidding, His sinkers sank, his floaters flapped, he cursed the balls he topped, But still his weary stance he held, and still he never stopped! At last, when Sol, from sheer ennui, gave up and went to bed, The moon came up, the man went down, and toppled over, dead! A white moth fluttered o'er his head, its dim flight void of sound. A bat swooped down on silent wing until the corpse it found. A night owl stirred. croaked,” it said. woo!” “That's nothing much,” a frog replies and then the frog croaked, too. man has Pu whit, tu Night crawlers crawled, creek crickets ar, way out of bounds Cast down it anaemic light which matched the spectral sounds. Midnight arrived. All beings — slept; when, with a dismal wail. The Golfer's Ghost appe: upon a high “tee rail. crea ed and sat Told at the 19th Hole Just before the “birdies” sing at Skokie, Glencoe, Ill. It gazed upon the havoe wre slowly shook its head, And in a whisper he Then, ti eyes upon the star, The Golfer's Ghost) went) round that and made cach hole in par! rpse’s clubs, its course, And then, to make the night complete, without another word he Played nine holes again in just one birdie after birdie! The next day caddies found the corpse, grown stiff and stark, meanwhile, But on its face that night had come a beatific smile! And tho he’s gone, he’s left behind this lesson unto men That if at first you don’t suec just try, try again. For be it known that though they try, the other ghosts just can’t In distance or direction touch that Lonely Golfer's Hant! st . why, DAT is on a golf course for the first time and he has hired a professional to teach him the game. Turning to the instructor Pat says: wv, then, Mister, what am I supposed to do?” “Hold the club as T show vou,” said the instructor, indicating. “Now, then, hit the ball. The object is to put the ball into the hole on the number one green.” So Pat drove, and the through the air fell on the four feet from the hole. and the instructor walked toward the ball and see- ing its position Pat exclaimed in tones of distress and consternation: gorra, sir, I'll never make a golf player! Why. the dern thing didn’t come within a foot of the hole!’—Dr. Evererr L. Karves, Carlinville, Tl. 6 DIGNIFIED old army col <2 riding with his aides Potomac Park in Washington, bringing up the rear of the party. He suddenly lost conscioust and slid) from his saddle into the roadway, where he lay unnoticed by his aides who continued on ahead, as did his riderless horse. Just as he was i the head of a ge playing on the municipal park links, was thrust through a clump of shrubbery at the side of the r d upon seeing the colonel sitting in th Iway holding his head he queried: “Pardon me! Did my hit 3 don’t. know.” drawled the Colonel, vonsciousness st, who was rubbing his cranium, “but something did!” At which the golfer had the effrontery to ‘ould you tell me which way it went eed A SOLE beginner coming froma 4 Northern course was accosted by the village constabl i nder, who asked him if he had had vod game, t so bad at id 9 holes in 7 was ferry good indeed,” said the constable. “DT have heard of them taking 18 holes to do that.”"—T. P. Low, La Jolla, Cal. 1,” replied the golfer. along the streets appened to meet a rich man and ‘Brother, please help a poor man.” i when are we brothers?” asked 1. man, “Are we not all sons of Adam? “Thad not thought of that. And the i handed the b penny. r, disappoin 1: “That's asmall amount from a brother.” “Tf all vour brothers gave vou a penny.” retorted the other, “you'd be the richest man in the world.” the ri nan - comicbooks.com