Judge — August 12, 1922 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Haven't Cupid's arrows ever pierced your heart?” “Not when shot by an old beau!"—London Mail. SLISHA JOHNSON’S mind was ibled ona certain point of con nd he determined to seek his pastor's advice. “Do vou think it would be wrong Methodist to play in asked, his open and in nance filled with rnc “Well.” said the parson, for yourself you're asking, [ stuppose, Klisha?* Mr. Johnson admitted: that the ease was his own, “And what instrament had you fixed in your mind?” asked the minister. “Well, id E a, with a ually clearing face, “IT kind of thought Pd tackle the trombone, if you said it was Lright, and TP woulda’t be falling from «todo it” brass band?” he huous counte- and doubt lowly, “it's id the minister, “if you ‘isha can find anyone who is willing to pass throngh the fiery ordeal of hearing you tice T think you may risk the dan, alling from grace with Philadelphia Ledger. set “TD hear tell.” related aon the neweomer from Kan: the old Sh srry place has got) four pairs of britches, yi t day in the morning!” astound- edly « ted Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge. What do you reckon he aims to do with “em, start a clothing store?” Kansas City Star. eee We often wonder what one of the neighbor women’s poreh parties would sound dike on the radio telephone but catch the Ohio never yet have we been abl wave length, it runs around sé State Journal. Pr hartad “Dey say, Sam, dat de handsomest flowers hab no perfume and de handsom- est birds no song.” “¥, handsomest. gals hab no one of ‘em refused me las’ night.” Boston Transcript. “Ts the bearded lady vour mamma?” »she’s my daddy." — Kasper (Stock helm). Applicant—I've called in answer to that advertisement of your'’n for a ‘andyman, sir. Employer—Well, what qualifications have you? Applicant—I live next door, sir.— London Weekly Telegraph. Lady—What, in your opinion, Cc! NT ARMAND DU BUCAMP, the Belgian publicist, said the other day in an interview “When [hear of any good thing coming out of Germany LE wink my eve and think of the story it the law oe nits: fat man said ina hotel smoking-room, “LE hate to hear you lam- basting lawyers the way you've been ver last year made me a i gus? “But the and jeers didnt move the fat man. ts the solemn truth “You ~ Twas inju ina rail Faceident Last year and this lawyer wd the railroad) company, and got $5,000) dan s. His bill) was but he didwt say a word about the $ gents, he balance. He made me a present of it.” Detroit Free Press. ery “Mummy.” asked Muriel, indignantly, rowhat auntie said to me?” “did von “Ye ur.” was the reply. “Well, mummy.” shrilled the little rebelliously, “Pm n \ hitened up by another woman Tit Bits (Landon). ey She—You refuse to buy me a. single hat. and then you tell me that while vou were in the Congo you had a haren of half a dozen wives. Oh! la. la! How could you afford to pay for the clothes of all those women? The Returned Soldier Oh, that. was When they wished to dress up, simply put ‘rings in their noses. Le Regiment (Paris). eet dvo- “A speech should be a ring me important principle n't alw: that,” replied Sen- ator Sorghum, very now and then a ch is bound to impress your public merely an apology for the way you Washington Star. are going to vote. _ Nd is your finest piece of fiction? Author—My last Income Tax return.—London Opinion.