Judge — August 5, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“What do you think he did when I told him Dad said he wasn't to see me any more?” “Do tell me?” “He turned out the light!"—Weekly Telegraph YENERAL CORNELIUS VANDER- A BILT, at on his yacht Romola, told a war story. “What was true of the Civil W will be true of the World War some day.” he began. “Ina hotel smoking-room back in the "90's a number of veterans got into a dispute over a certain battle. The all men of high rank—argued very turbu- But a quiet man spoke up and I happened to be there I think Tc And settle he much t through en your a dinner veterans settle the point at iss did. ‘The hotel propri id to him when ar sir, what may have rank in the army? ‘Twas a private a full priv was the calu repl short time afterward the full private for his bill, as he was about to dey but the penny, noth deman proprietor said to him: ul ! Nota penny! You owe me “Why. how is that? the other in bewilderment. *T couldn't dream of charging you, sir, said the proprietor warmly the first private [have eve: -The Argo- nau held his hand and THe fortune telle followed his lines. “You are trouble, man who: “A moment,” he if his name is M about to have — serious she said, “with a dark gentle- 1, nervously. “See and if he is my jani- Richmond Times-Dispatch. Prey “Folks all well this morning. asked a friend of the family. es’m.” lad to hear it. ‘The Jast time T heard from them your father was suffering rheumatic gout and your mother had tor.” Johnny?” “Oh. 3 they've still vom. thought you meant was any of us sick, Boston Transeript. got N instance of momentary success in LY the collection has been noted when the minister published) the following soliloquy in the cor ational calendar “Tam twenty-five I'm small to buy a quart of oil: Pm too sinall to buy one-half pound of candy; I'm too small to buy a ticket to a good movie I'm even too small to buy but most people some money” when DT come to Christian Register. ttt Ciuren Was over, filed slowly out ane chattering groups in the churchyard. Presently the viewr came up and joined a select little party. He introduced an old sea captain to the leading light of the w wealthy Mr. Smith “You must have seen each other in church to. i “Sure, cents. too shows a box of undetecta think Pn church.” sid the old “in the next bunk to me.” Aaswers ttt Citizen (to b at the door)- So you've been out of work long? “Yes, siry but lately Pve dreamed three times that To got a job. and if) you'll finance me a bit Eshall buy a dre: and find out if it means anythi Houston Post. te med to read a paper at the next mect- She—TVve been i on Phe Ideal Won ing of our club, THe—Read a paper? Why, all you need to do is to stand up on the platform and let them luok at you.—Boxton Transeript. tte they are and rts say “The summer re Fa hotel to have low er bathing suits.” Ty is only re Miss Cayenne. look at the less you « Washington Star. te rates commented there t to pay.” nable,” is to “So you intend to make a name for yoursel “Yes, man. “7 to keep my wife from using her own.” New York Sun, replied the newly That seems to be the only “My doctor says I must walk more.” “Well, what are you doing about it?” “Visiting three public houses instead of one.”—Simplicissimus (Munich). comicbooks.com