Judge — July 15, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| “Do you say your wife is ill? for her—I’m a veterinary.” “All the better! Sorry, neighbor, but I can’t do anything She’s fearfully strong, and a horse remedy might be just the thing!”—Le Journal Amusant (Paris). “What do you know about the radio?” “It’s very simple.” “Simple? To me it is the marvel of the age. It is beyond my compre- hension.” “It is to me, too, but I have a nine- year-old son who can tell you all about it."—Detroit Free Press. ttt “I’m afraid our boy Josh is a lounge lizard,” said Farmer Corntossel. “He ain’t,” replied Josh’s fond mother. “He’s only a plesiosaurus.” “How do you make that out?” “I happened to see in the dictionary that ‘plesiosaurus’ means ‘near lizard.’” —Washington Star. tte We suppose the slogan of the new Federation of Art, which has under- taken to make the exponents of the silent drama just as good as anybody, if not better, is as follows: Back to the outing flannel nightgown.—Ohio State Journal. ttt “I’ve just heard of a new charm to tell whether anyone loves you; and, if so, who it is,” whispered Elsie. “What is it?” queried Sophie, absently fingering a new diamond ring. “Well, you take four or five chest- nuts, name them each after some man you know, and then put them on the stove, and the first one that pops is the one that loves you.” “H’m!” said Sophie. ter way than that.” “Do you?” “Yes, indeed. By my plan you take one particular man, place him on the sofa in the parlor, sit close to him with the light a little low and look into his eyes. And then, if he doesn’t pop, you'll know it’s time to change the man on the sofa.”—Chicago Her- ald. “I know a bet- She—Oh, George! I’ve just won a hundred-pound prize for the best ar- ticle on the cruelty of trapping wild animals. He—Good egg! going to do with it? “Oh, now I can afford a new fur coat!”—London Mail. ste Conductor (new to the job)—I’m sure the old boy there has paid his fare twice. Think I had better tell him about it? Motorman—No-o! Ask him for it again.—Sydney Bulletin. tts First Autoist—What’s the trouble, friend? Are you stuck? Second Autoist—Yes, stuck is right; I've hit a fork in the road.—Florida Times-Union. What are you TREE toad loved a she toad , That lived in a tree; She was a 3-toed tree toad, But a 2-toed tree toad was he, The 2-toed tree toad tried to win The she toad’s friendly nod; For the 2-toed tree toad loved the ground That the 3-toed tree toad trod; But vainly the 2-toed tree toad tried— He couldn’t please her whim; In her tree toad bower, with her V-toe power, . The she toad vetoed him. —Van Raalte Vanguard. tts “I shall now eat a few thousand calories,” said the man who was going to lunch. “What's the difference between cal- ories and plain old-fashioned food?” “I don’t know that there is any; ex- cept that the calories appear to have made the food cost a whole lot more.” —Washington Star. tat Mrs. Crabshaw—So you're in favor of jazz. Mrs. Newrich—Indeed I am. When you have an entertainment now all the neighborhood knows that you're giv- ing it—New York Sun. set First She—Gee, you look funny in that hat! T’other One—What’s the matter with it? “Oh, it isn’t the hat.”—Vassar Mis- cellany News. Rated “You ought to be proud of your country,” said the militant patriot. “I am,” said Mr: Bibbles. “That is, most of the time.” “Is there ever a moment, sir, when you cease to regard the United States as the greatest country on the globe?” “Yes. When I’ve been swindled by a bootlegger I couldn’t cheer the flag to save my life.”—Birmingham Age-Her- ald. Me Aah Ae . Mr. Henpeck—It says that the newest fad is to adopt a chicken for a pet. Mrs. Henpeck—Just let me catch you doing it!—London Mail. 25 comicbooks.com