Judge — July 15, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bio ‘ o Reger se Digest of the World’s Humor IR AUCKLAND GEDDES said at a Washington dinner party: “It’s a good thing that Charlie Chap- lin and our other film stars are now taking foreign tours occasionally, for the films commit dreadful errors when they depict foreign life. “French noblemen, for example, are always kissing girls’ hands in formal salutation in the films. Now in France, as a matter of fact, only the hands of married women are kissed by men. To kiss a girl’s hand would be an insult. “TI heard the other day of a Holly- wood producer who was shooting the boudoir of an empress. Suddenly he stopped the performance. He pointed savagely to a small spitteon of pink and white porcelain that stood beside a marble Venus. “For Mike’s sake,’ he roared, ‘look at that there spittoon! Can’t I never make you boys understand that we’re shootin’ the boudoir of an empress—a royal empress? Take that cheap little old-fashioned spittoon out of here and fetch us a big, nifty, up-to-date bronze cuspidor!’”—Los Angeles Times. PIS “Has Mr. Grumpson any hobbies?” “Two.” “What are they?” “Business and tobacco.’—Birming- ham Age-Herald. “Work is pretty bad, but the trouble is that if you don’t work you don’t have any excuse for striking.”—Kari- katuren (Christiania). ll CK Ca GCOuoee TTT A Thought: “Have you never had a fatal accident at your work?”—Kasper (Stockholm). dott “What’s Henpeck feeling so chesty about?” “He’s found some one worse off than he; he just read that the male ostrich <i hatches the eggs.”—Buffalo Express. tos Wife—John, I’ll have to discharge the cook; she uses such dreadful lan- guage. Hub—What kind of language, dear? “Well—oh, the same kind you use, you know.”—Boston Transcript. tat Ralph Love holds record for long- est drive made on the Hiawatha golf course. He sent a ball into a coal car of a passing freight train. The car’s destination was Atchison, mak- ing Major Love’s drive forty-two miles.—Hiawatha (Kan.) World. tae Flapper—Are those binoculars very powerful? Gob — Miss, these glasses bring things up so close that everything less than ten miles away looks it is behind you.—Mississippi Bulletin. 21 ECRETARY MELLON said at a banquet in Washington: “England and America are paying their way, but I could name one or two other countries whose financial policy is very little better than old Aunt Car’line’s. “Poor old Aunt Car’line!’ said a young colored girl. ‘She was takin’ on terrible when I seen her las’ ebenin.’ Cold as it was, she hadn’ a nickel in de house to buy coal.’ “‘Pore old auntie!’ said a second colored girl. ‘Has she got coal now?’ “Yep, “ ‘How she got it?’ “ ‘She done pawn de stove.’ "—Phila- delphia Ledger. SHS “I understand he’s a great golfer.” “Where did you see him play?” “I’ve never seen him play, but I overheard him playing a game in the lounge room of the club the other day.” —Detroit Free Press. SAS Johnnie—Pa, won’t you please buy me a microbe to help me out with my arithmetic? Papa—What good will a microbe do you? “I just read in this paper that they multiply rapidly.”—Medical Quip. “Ah, you have no idea what sea- sickness is, Katherine. When you have it, and anyone came and wanted to kill you, you would want to make him your sole heir!”—Meggendorter Blaetter (Munich). comicbooks.com