Judge — July 8, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor Lady (purchasing thermometer) — And would you be so kind as to set it to sixty-five, because that's what the doctor says I'm to keep the room at.— London Opinion. sae ASSOCIATE JUSTICE WILLIAM R. DAY of the Supreme Court of the United States sometimes introduces an amusing story into the solemn pre- cincts of that weighty deliberative body. There was this one, for example, of the lawyer who kept objecting to his wit- ness answering a certain question. “Where were you between nine and nine-thirty on the morning of the 14th of January?” asked the prosecuting attorney. “I object,” interjected the lawyer for the defense. “Let him ask me,” cried the witness, excitedly. They wrangled awhile over the rele- vancy of the question, and the case droned on. Presently the prosecution got back to that same question, and the defense objected. “Let him ask me! Let him ask me!” cried the witness wildly, pounding the rail in front of him. Finally the nine to nine-thirty ques- tion appeared for the third time, and was objected to. Whereupon the wit- ness went into a frenzy in his in- sistence that he be allowed to answer. The court stepped into the breach and ruled that the question was ma- terial. 7 “Where were you between nine and nine-thirty on the morning of Jan- uary 14?” said the prosecutor. “I don’t remember,” lisped the wit- ness.—Philadelphia Ledger. Blackstone—I think Brown was fool- ish in spending $100 for a radio phone outfit just because his wife wanted to listen to the free air concerts. Webster — Foolish nothing! He says the extra hours of quiet he gets every evening now are worth ten times the price he paid—New York Sun. er “Has Nexdore’s son ever made any use of his college education?” “I should say so! He was held up a few nights ago.” “Yes.” “And he tackled his assailant and threw him for a loss of four ribs. He learned that trick on his college eleven.” “Professor” Sludge demonstrates to a special committee that no cruelty is involved in his performing flea act— London Opinion. i AAs It is true that the chronic shopper doesn’t buy much, but just look at all the practice she furnishes for the clerks.—Dallas News. ENERAL PERSHING tells the story of a volunteer battalion of backwoodsmen that once joined General Grant. The latter admired their phy- sique, but distrusted the capacity of their uncouth commander to handle troops promptly and efficiently in the field, so he said: “Colonel, I want to see your men at work; call them to attention and order them to march shouldered arms in close column to the left flank.” Without a moment's hesitation the colonel yelled to his command: “Boys, look wild thar! Make ready to thicken and go left end-ways! Tote yer guns! Git!” The maneuver proved a bril- liant success, and the self-elected colonel was forthwith officially com- missioned.—Boys’ Own Paper. sae “It is high time,” said the militant reformer on the platform, “that we had a moral awakening in this town. Let us arise in our might. Let us gird our loins. Let us take off our coats. Let us bare our arms. Let us—" “Hold on now!” exclaimed a tall, thin woman near the platform. “If this is to be a moral awakening, don't you dare to propose our taking off another thing.”—Boston Transcript.