Judge — July 8, 1922 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Right Way by Katherine Negley HEN Alan was courting Elaine, he did not follow any method at all. It was really Elaine that had the methods. After he was married, he tried ca man tactics. He had read they most effective, but they only made very, very cross, and he always got the worst of every argument. He tried being nice and gentle and kind. He thought that was what she wanted him to do, but she became suspicious. He tried being indifferent. He never saw her becoming gowns, her alluring little tricks or her beauty. Then the cruel war was over. She loved him forever and tried to hold him, AA “Now is the time to get your life in- sured, young man, The longer you delay it, the higher your premiums will be. “I know that, but the longer I wait, the fewer premiums I will have to pay.” Saal Rastus—Is yo’ gwine to tote a rabbit's foot when yo’ visits Misto’ Jones's chicken coop? Mose—No suh. I'se gwine to git me one of dese yere alibis. sas “Jimson is the worst old fogy I ever saw.” “Why do you say that?” “He still thinks that liquor has to be ras four years old before it is fit to rink. “Miss Edna, is your sister in?” “Yes, Mr. Smythe; she’s all set.” “ nu're a Boy Scout, eh? Have youdone your daily good deed to-day?" “Yes, sir. I taught Billy Jones that it isn’t-safe to call me a liar.” 83 sae North—Dobbs is the most contrary man I ever knew. West—Yes; he moved to Mississippi just because he was a Republican! as “I know this stuff is good, because I bought it from a sea captain who just arrived from the other side.” “How do you know he didn’t make it on the way over?” Modern Damsel—Strange that her feet are covered—must have been bow- legged. 10 Wants Supplied by A. R. Rogers “ DLEASE, Mr. Stork,” the lady cried In accents low and coy, “Do listen to my prayer now— I want a little bo; He should have steely bluish eyes And hair of golden hue, And as for his dear precious limnbs— T leave all that to you.” “Nay, Mr. Stork,” the husband urg’d, need a lovely girl, With soft brown eye that languishes And tress in raven curl, To be my comfort and my joy, My happiness, my life, The counterpart of her who is My own sweet darling wife.” And Mr. Stork conclusion quick Most lib’rally did reach; He simply listen’d to them both— And gave them one of each! sas “Do you know what is meant by a close corporation?” “I ought to. I've worked for one of them for ten years, and they haven't raised my salary yet.” ae “It 1s high time you bought a new evening suit, John.” “I know, dear, but the moths are so comfortable in the old one that I hate to force them to move.” sae The woman who is always looking for a bargain might try marrying a man who is in reduced circumstances, comicbooks.com