Judge — June 10, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

stal 1 th- ree old a ee Told at the Nineteenth Hole STUCK TO HIS BARGAIN CANNY Scot and his wife visited an aviation field and wished to take a ride in an aeroplane, but the aviator's charges seemed preposterous to the Scotchman. After much bickering the aviator, with a wink, agreed to take MacTavish and Maggie up for five dol- lars if they didn’t utter a word during the flight; but if they did, it would cost him fifty dollars. The Scotchman agreed, and they started off. As soon as they got in the air the aviator dipped, looped the loop, and did every kind of a dare-devil stunt he could think of, but nary a word out of the Scot. Finally, when they touched the ground, the Scotchman said: “Ken I speak now?” The aviator yelled, “Sure.” MacTavish yelled back, “Well, Maggie's oot!” SQUARED CIRCLES A widow in the Fish Lake Valley, Nevada, country, several years ago hired a Piute Indian to work in the harvest. The second night at supper the widow, who did her own cooking, served a sort of pancake, as she had at the evening meal the day before. As she was passing around the plate of rather heavy discs, she noticed that the Piute was trimming off the arcs from his cakes before he gulped them down, and had a pile of the quarter- circle fragments about his plate several inches high. “Hey, there, Charlie!” she demanded u Pde ie : ow Noah mana, to keep his hand i rin angrily, “what's the big idea, anyway? : Bed to keer duiniduring ‘the: ood: Flour'n eggs cost too much in this yo Ho! Wondcring what might be the mat- country to waste like that! Burdened with a severe cold, Bill tet, the bland and impeccable floor- Charlie looked up. “Well, he said, pecatied an old fricm ; ng walker approached him and asked as iis burdened foer 1d i halt recalled an old friend in a neighboring his burdened fork hoisted half way, town and forthwith wrote asking Pleasantly as the circumstances per- last night me eatum mebbyso twenty, t ~ " he mitted: tlirty pancake—he rollum ‘round and about a recipe for the manufacture of s ' é nd a little home-brew, or a similar liba n I be of any assistance to you, round all night all same wheels in a * nn sir? clock-—-me ny ketcham much sleep, tM This is the reply he received: Sit?” . ie ho) xetchum muck .sleer “Dear Bill—Try this early morning I've lost my wife,” said Walker, To-night me fixum—me makum all ur a vuishcd 2 anxiously. square—she no. rollum ‘round. to. Potion on your distinguished palate slows 5. Riga anee Chase a bullfrog three miles and Oh!” said the floorwalker, “you'll night. gather up the hops; add ten gallons find the mourning department on the _ __ of tan bark, one half pint shellac, a S¢cond floor. bar of home-made soap. Boil thirty. — six hours and strain through an IL.W.W ] hat to keep it from working. Then | bottle, and add a grasshopper to each . pint to give it the kick. Shake well and prepare to have a fit before tak ing.” ONE ON WALKER A. B. Walker, whose humorous draw ings have given pleasure to so many readers of Judge, was scen not long ago rushing frantically about the floor of “Macy's” peering into the face of It depends on— every woman who entered the store whose camel is gored! comicbooks.com