Judge — June 10, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Soulful Girl—He said I was the most wonderful little girl in the world. Sister—Gee! Senator Kenyon was discussing, at a reception at Fort Dodge, his amend- ment empowering the President to veto single items in appropriation bills. “My amendment,” he said, “will do away with a good deal of exploitation. There is too much exploitation, espe- cially too much postwar exploitation. That war! What greed it has un- chained! “I heard of a millionaire the other day who said he'd be happy if he could achieve his one ambition, namely, to buy at prewar and sell at postwar prices. “Another millionaire, a railroad man, said fiercely at a board meeting: “‘*The mismanagement is something fearful. I have traveled on several of our trains lately, and every pas- senger had a seat.’”"—Los Angeles Times. “Is this stuff good?” “You can taste the wood in it.” “Do you want to blind me? Take it away.” “I was referring to the flavor of a barrel coopered in 1910.” “Hand it back.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. EXPERT OPINION Barnstorm (enraged)—Madam, your bill is preposterous. Do you think I have lived fifteen years in boarding- houses for nothing? Mrs. Boarding-house—Indeed, sir, from what I've seen of you, I should funk it highly probable—Sydney Bul- etin. “4 He ought to patent that before it gets around!—London Mail. A Cherryvale man claims he got stung by a street corner medicine man the other night in Independence. He bought a bottle of medicine for fifty cents, and he got with it a rubber comb, a pocket-knife, six lead pencils, a fountain pen, two quires of writing paper, a corkscrew, one package of chewing-gum, three decks of playing cards, a handsaw and a dictionary. The fellow promised to throw in a bunch of quill toothpicks, too, but didn’t do it. You can never trust these traveling fakers. — Fredonia (Mo.) Herald. “Whenever you see a celebrity you can usually find some one basking in his reflected glory who claims to have made him.” “Yes,” said Mr. Grumpson, “and ninety per cent. of the time she bears his name.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. “What does Dr. Slimpurse say pro- duced this case of appendicitis?” “Lack of work.” “What! Why, the man never has an idle day.” “Oh, no; but Dr. Slimpurse has.”— Medical Quip. comicbooks.com