Judge — June 10, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of EPTIMUS WAGGE met his chum the other day. “I say, Bill, I watched a wonderful machine at our shop this morning.” “And how does it work?” asked Bill. “Well,” was the reply, “by means of a pedal attachment, a fulcrumed lever converts a vertical reciprocating motion into a circular movement. The principal part of the machine is a huge disc that revolves in a vertical plane. Power is applied through the axis of the disc, and work is done on the periphery, and the hardest substance, by mere impact, may be reduced to any shape.” “What is this wonderful machine?” asked Bill. “A grindstone,” was Edinburgh Scotsman. the reply.— “I understand,” said the drummer, “that Piute Pete isn’t allowed in Crim- son Gulch any more.” “No,” answered Cactus Joe. “The boy’s ‘ud rather not have him around. He held four aces three times the same evenin’.” “That was luck!” “No. It wasn't even skill. courage.”—Washington Star. It was the Worlds Humor “I'm so glad you've come. * We are going to have a young married couple for dinner.” “I'm glad, too. They ought to be tender."—Vassar Miscellany News. Mrs. Portly—That's our new neigh- bor, dear. Is she looking round? Mr. Portly—No rounder than your- self.—Tit-Bits (London). Mrs. Krawler—Those new neighbors of ours must be rich, judging from the clothes they wear. Mrs. Wyse—That’s a poor way to judge, my dear. Some of the most gorgeous flowers haven't got a scent.— Louisville Courier-Journal, Sploshkins wanted to sell his horse, so he prevailed on the local dealer to come and see the animal. “That's a good-horse, Mr. Taylor,” Sploshkins said to the dealer. “It cost me five hundred pounds, but you shall have it for fifty pounds.” The dealer gasped. “That's rather a big reduction, Mr. Sploshkins, isn’t it?” he asked. “Well,” the vendor admitted, “the fact is it bolted one day and killed my poor wife, and now I've got no further use for it!"—The Winning Post Winter Annual. “Well, mum,” said the affable tramp, “howdy-do, mum. You don’t remem- ber me?” “No, I don't,” said the hard-faced housewife. “I passed through here about a month ago an’ you sicked th’ dog on me.” “I remember now.” “Yes, mum. An’ as I cleared the fence I met a little man who handed me half a dollar. He said it was worth dat much to find out dat it wasn’t safe for him to go home right den. He's comin’ down de street now, mum. Would you mind sickin’ de dog on me again?”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Customer (who has waited twenty minutes)—Pardon me, young man, but I’d be awfully obliged if you'd introduce me to your lady friend!—Passing Show (London). comicbooks.com