Judge, 1922-06-03 · page 9 of 36
Judge — June 3, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three humorous short stories typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **"Told at the Nineteenth Hole"** (golf-themed jokes): Two anecdotes about relatives—one where a conductor and brakeman each discover an armed tramp is their relative and neither can remove him; another where a mother, fearing California's 1906 earthquake, sends her son to San Francisco (then also earthquake-prone), and the uncle wires back asking her to send *him* the earthquake instead. **"His Choice"**: A doctor scams an anxious elderly man by charging five dollars for a false emergency call, revealing he collected "wooden soldiers" (soldiers/young men) from desperate situations at inflated rates. **"The Economist"**: A sergeant motivates his troops by claiming he's finally recovered the wooden soldiers he lost as a boy—implying his recruits are wooden-headed blockheads. The cartoons satirize middle-class foibles: family obligations, urban dangers, medical fraud, and military discipline. The humor relies on puns, irony, and stereotypes typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Told at the Nineteenth Hole THEY WERE RELATED HE conductor of a freight sent the brakeman forward to put a tramp oft they had seen board the train just as they were pulling out. The brakeman went forward, but when he came to the tramp he found himself gazing into the barrel of a gun, and was ordered back to the rear and informed he might as well stay there and save himself some trouble. The brakeman returned to the caboose. “Did you get him off?” inquired the conductor “No,” replied the couldn’t put him off. of mine.” “Well, I'm not troubled with that kind of relatives. I'll put him off,” stormed the conductor, angrily. After a time the conductor quietly returned. “Did you put him off?” the grinning brakeman asked “No, he’s a cousin of mine, the conductor replied brakeman. “] He's a cousin too,” HIS CHOICE Mr. and Mrs. Smith had moved to Los Angeles from the East. When the recent earthquake shook the town, the mother, fearing for the safety of her son, sent him to her bachelor brother in San Francisco. He had been away about a week when the mother received the following wire from the boy’s uncle: “Am shipping your boy home to-night; kindly send me the earthquake.” Drawn by NouMan ANTHONY NEEDED INVENTIONS Drown by W The wit sharpener—every office should have one. _ gazed HEATH Roninson How coal was first discovered in Scotland. THE ECONOMIST From the old church tower the solemn hour boomed out in impressive grandeur, and from the shadows emerged a gay old gentleman. He took up a position in front of the house of the local doctor and upwards at the darkened windows. Next he pulled himself together and then pulled at the doctor's bell, nearly tear- ing it out by the roots. “Doctor, doctor, come quickly!” he cried. It’s a bad case up by the com- mon. Don't delay.” The doctor came bus- tling downstairs, and hustled his car out of the garage. In three minutes they were off, the excitable one sitting by the doctor. “That's the house—that one,” said the passenger at 7 last, at the end of a spanking drive of at least five miles. “But what's your fee, doctor?” “Oh, five dollars, for an night visit,” was the reply. Then here you are. There wasn't anyone in the place who would bring me for less than seven-fifty.” HE FOUND THEM “When I was a little boy,” sweetly piped the hard-boiled sergeant, “I had a set of wooden soldiers. One day I lost those soldiers, and I cried very much, but my mother said, ‘Never mind, Johnny! Some day you will get your wooden soldiers back.’ And believe me, you bunch of wooden-headed block- heads, that day has come.” ordinary Peon comicbooks.com