Judge — June 3, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

————__ TSR “I do wish you'd call me by my first name, Alice.” “Your last name is good enough for me!"—London Mail. Marjory—Mamma, were you at home when I was born? Mother—No, darling, I was at grand- ma’s, in the country. “Wasn't you awfu'ly s'prised when you heard about it?"—London Opinion A man motoring in Touraine com- plained one morning at petit dejeuner: “There's something queer about this coffee It has a kind of cocoa taste.” The waiter smelled tasted it, and then said: “I'm sorry, sir, but by mistake I've brought you tea.” — Los Angeles Times the liquid, Ted (meeting friend in restaurant) — Have you been here long? Ned—Not more than half an hour. I ordered only the dishes that were ready.—New York Sun. “Dearest,” he said, sighing like a furnace, “it doesn't seem like the same old smile you used to give me.” “Oh, no, Jack,” replied the sweet thing, “this is anew one. I have been studying at a school of dramatic art.” —Florida Times-Union. Doctor—With care your husband will recover in a week. You don’t seem very pleased! Wife—You told me he would die a week ago—and I have sold his clothes!—Klods Hans (Copenhagen). 2 “A woman can’t sharpen a pencil.” “Well, is that anything to laugh at? Can a man sew on a button properly?” —Louisville Courier-Journal. “Who's boss in this house?” “I wouldn't like to say, only I noticed last night pa hung the pictures where ma told him and not where he thought they ought to go.”—Detroit Free Press. Father-in-law—I've asked you here to dinner for the last time, my boy, for I'm sorry to tell you I've lost all my money. Son-in-law—Great Scott. Then I married for love, after all!—Windsor Magazine (London). “Doctor, if there is anything the matter with me don’t frighten me half to death by giving it a long, scientific name. Just tell me what it is in plain English.” “Well, lazy.” “Thank you, doctor. Now tell me the scientific name for it. I've got to report to the missus.”—Birming- ham Age-Herald. sir, to be frank, you are comicbooks.com