Judge — June 3, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oe: RO Dee: ry With the Irrepressible, OSCULATION A WOMAN'S lips should always be Partaken of quite sparingly, And then with reverence; For satiation’s discontent, Will often lead to deep lament, And then—indifference. —Annapolis Log Left—I'd_ never marry a man for Better or for Worse. Right—No; it'll be for More or Less with me.—Syracuse Orange Peel. HIS ARGUMENT “At first Alice wouldn't say whether she loved me or not.” “And did you succeed in making her tell?” “Yes, I finally squeezed it out of her."—Michigan Gargoyle. UTILITY “Your wife is very religious, isn’t she?” “Why, no; what makes you think that?” “Well, every morning I go past your house she is singing ‘Nearer, My God, to Thee.’” “Oh, that’s just the hymn she boils the eggs by—two verses for soft boiled and five for hard.” — Yale Record. MECHANICAL CURIOSITY The Girl—And have you studied about all these famous engineers? The Stude—Oh, yes, indeed. “Well, then, tell me about this man, Pat Pending, whose name I see on all machinery.”"—Stevens Tech. Stone Mill. Joyous, EASY Tee—What kind of cigarettes do you smoke? Hee—Any kind you've got with you. —Brown Jug. NAMED Prof.—Who were the three wise men? Soph—Stop, Look and Listen. — Syracuse Orange Peel. BROKE “Good-night, fellow-students,” said the penniless frosh, as he climbed into bed. And the game went on.—Stanford Chapparal. AWFUL! The kiss is most Unhygienic; Then let us start An epidemic! —California Pelican. WILLING Chaperon—Young man, the lights of this house go out at ten o'clock. Lounge Hound—That suits me, don't delay on my account.—Wisconsin Oc- topus. Admiration. —Ohio Wesleyan Mirror. 21 College Wits Irresponsible LIMERICK MAN who had lost his cheapeau Cried “Where did the cursed thing geau?” But his neighbor said, “That Was a smart walking hat— And it's gone for a stroll, doncher- kneau!” —Bowdoin Bear Skin. “That girl’s a regular third rail.” “How's that?” “It's dangerous to touch her.”"— Brown Jug. CUT RATES “Please, ma’am, give a poor blind man a dime.” “Why, you're only blind in one eye!” “Well, make it a nickel, then.”— Harvard Lampoon x PAGE AN ADDING MACHINE “Horace wanted to kiss me sixteen times last night.” “How do you know he did?” “Because I counted them all.”"— Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. WISDOM We still cling to the simple faith that the acme of human wisdom is to know when to lay down a poker hand. —Columbia Jester. THE PROFESSOR To publish all the things he knew, A hundred volumes too! And yet he did not know enough To fill a pocketbook. —Michigan Garyoyle comicbooks.com