Judge, 1922-05-27 · page 5 of 36
Judge — May 27, 1922 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page satirizes yacht-club society and nautical signaling. The main narrative describes Mrs. Bannister, a wealthy yacht owner, who uses various flag signals to communicate dangers and social situations to other vessels—including codes for approaching threats, mental distress, and social emergencies. The upper illustration shows a fashionable woman in an elaborate fur coat being helped aboard a yacht, captioned "Wasn't that a dear little play? Yes, five-fifty a seat!" The lower cartoon by A.B. Walker depicts a woman on a bucking cow being towed behind an automobile, captioned "Mabel's pony became balky and refused to move, but—" The satire targets upper-class pretension, absurd signaling systems for trivial social matters, and the comic misadventures of the wealthy leisure class.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
with binoculars. To date they have observed nothing suspicious. Mrs. Bannister can tax her husband with nothing worse than being too familiar with his crew. She is the last woman in the world to find fault, she says, and does not thank busybodies who carry tales to her, but she has heard repeatedly that when he has “that set of rumhounds aboard” they have been seen dancing to the music of the yacht’s phonograph with the common sailors. In_uniform, actually. Bannister replies only by a pained silence; and it would be treach- erous of me to more than hint of the half dozen extra sailor suits, small size and very natty, which are kept for emergencies in the Aspasia’s lockers. It was this, however, which started me <hinking seriously about the deficiencies of the present signals. The secret of the lockers was almost surprised by Mrs. Bannister one dread day last summer, when she came out unexpectedly in the club launch. There was barely time to smuggle the extra sailor suits and their contents down into the stokehole as the launch came alongside. Then Bannister hoisted the blue peter, and Mrs. Ban- nister retreated ashore. All the while, one of Bannister’s best friends had been endeavoring to warn us of the approaching peril from the club’s signal mast. But there was not a single pennant that signified “Hostile wife in the offing.” I have remedied that. Here are the suggestions for specific danger signals, appeals, and other now urgently needed code flags, which should fill a long-felt want: (1) Danger Signal.—This pennant signi- fies that a specific hostile stealthily ap- proaches. Generally it indicates the on- coming of bores or jealous wiv so that anchors may be weighed at once and, with all steam up, the owner may signal “Full peed Ahead” he design is a black-bordered square, white flag with a black hand in the field. (2) Calamity Signal—The “We Are Sunk” signal, denoting extreme mental, physical, or financial distress, indicates to all sympathetic fellow-yachtsmen that the boat has or will be libeled and also the owner thereof; or that the sheriff, or pes- tiferously Puritanical persons are aboard, and all joy has been piped down. This flag will consist of the conventional skull and crossbones or “Jolly Roger,” dis- Drawn by A. B. WAL “Wasn't that a dear little play?” “Yes, five-fifty a seat!” and at half mast on the port main spreader. (3) Signal of Acute Distress. nal concerns the ship's store when decoded simply reads “For Sake, Bring Some Hooch! We Out"! The design consists of a black bottle up- side down on a blue field is sig- Heaven's Are All BEING TOWED owner appeal to the ashore, the This signal is also an friends, on other yachts or club’s bootlegger to rescue at once. (4) When the Owner's Wife, is feminine hands down in a blue This signal m junction with oth instance, No. 1 and above. (5). General Signal.—This signifies that dancing on deck is under v or in prospect, and that there plenty of hooch aboard, and also the congenial companionship of ladies fair It is a scarlet flag, with a pinch bottle of Haig & Haig at center two large golden hairpins either (6) Male Help Wanted.—Th supplementary signal consists of two clasped red hands on a white field, and may be displayed on any particularly pleasurable occasion and the starboard main spreader, with code flag No. 5, and any or all of Numbers 7, 8 and 9 that follow. (7) Bridge Signal—When this is shown, it indicates the owner is playing bridge, and is not to be disturbed. When displayed with code flag No. 6, it indicates the owner desires another hand at bridge. When answered, the code flag is dipped as many times as there are extra hands desired The flag consists of the ace of spades on a red background (8) Poker Signal—aA red and a blue disk in a white field. (9) Crap. Signal. This signal is displayed alone if owner and guests are at African golf and desire no interlopers. Shown with No. indicates all may or the come to Lady, who he Aboard.—Two with thumbs field y be used in con- e flag: or as described 6, it join it. The design i of dice, in white green field (10) Ladies Welcome! — The “Ladies Welcome, Preferably Un- chaperoned!” signal is a phono- graph of obsolete design, with horn; red on a white field This signal, when supplemented by General Joy Signal (No. will indicate .congenial male ¢ corts will not be de trop: come of course, a and black, pair on a The sole suggester and inventor of the above signals respectfully submits them to all yacht owners and yachtsmen for the sailing season of 1922, in considera- tion and in appreciation of the happiness he has had aboard of the yachts of his friends, and especially Burfort Benton Bannister’s ever-delightful Aspasia. Mabel’s pony became balky and refused to move, but—