Judge — May 27, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ne TS ERE RT Mistress—But why did you leave your last place? Cook—'Cos the master used to have such rows with the missus. “What did they quarrel about?” “The way the meals was cooked.”"— London Mail. Mrs. Crabshaw—What in the world is that our neighbor is doing? Crabshaw—I'’m not just certain. He’s either giving a jazz concert or else fell downstairs with a scuttle of coal.—New York Sun. Chief Afraid-of-His Squaw—That’s no way to wear a war bonnet. You're putting it on upside down. His Squaw—I know I am. You're going to carry the papoose in the hood. —Houston Post. Pa and Ma Watkins have a small general store on Main street in a very small town in Indiana. They live in a room back of their store, where ma generally holds forth by herself when pa is busy in the store. One evening about six o'clock, burglars entered the store and worked quietly, efficiently and quickly. Pa put up his hands when told to “stick ’em up,” and stood that way while the “rush” was on. Ma, all unconscious of the “stunt” going on out in front, set the supper on the table and called pa. He didn’t move or utter a sound, and the bur- glars were too busy to care; but when ma called a second time and com- manded: “Pa, come here immediately,” pa broke his silence and meekly called back: “I can’t come now, ma; I'm busy.” —Indianapolis News. The Dub—Do you consider it sinful to play golf on Sunday? The Old Timer—Mebbe it is. But don’t let it worry you. What you play can hardly be classed as golf.—Detroit News. Senator Hiram Johnson was prais- ing, at a dinner in Washington, the beauties of his native State. “And our fish!” he exclaimed. “If you could see our jeweled fish swim- ming in the pellucid California water among the pink, the green and the cream-colored corals. Why, we ac- tually have in California fish that blush.” Senator Johnson smiled. “Of course, it’s no wonder they blush,” he added, “considering the ab- breviated bathing suits that some of our California girls wear."—Los An- geles Times. “Did you lynch the man who sto! your automobile?” “No,” replied Piute Pete. away.” “Unpunished?” “No, sir. If that bunch of pernickety junk treats him the way it has me he’s havin’ punishment enough.” — Washington Star. “Pardon, Mr. Director, but my daughter is ill and I have come to take her place in the ballet.”"—Sondags Nisse (Stockholm). “Father, are all Bolshevists red?” “No, my boy, some of them are pretty blue.”"—Der Brummer (Berlin) “That young man stays to an un- earthly hour every night, Gladys,” said an irate father to his youngest daughter. “What does your mother say about it?” “Well, dad,” Gladys replied, as she turned to go upstairs, “she men haven't changed a bi body's. The Captain (to his goal keeper)—Worry ‘im, Tich!—Passing Show (London). “He got le ea0"n ee comicbooks.com