Judge — May 20, 1922 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Timetable of Independence By Lisle Bell HEN (daily, except Sundays), in the course of human events (sub- ject to change) it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands (discontinued after July 4) which have connected them with another, and to assume (on regular schedule) among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station (via Delaware and Hudson) to which the laws of Nature (stops on signal) and of Nature's God entitle them, a de- cent respect to the opinions of mankind (does not stop) re- PUSH AND GO One of those twenty-five million youths who are some day expected to attain to the Presidency of the United States was recently asked by a com- petent questioner to define the differ- ence between Push and Go. “Push,” he said, “is that ability and initiative required to get you to the position where you are qualified to tell another man “Go!” A SETTLEMENT “Did he settle anything on his wife?” “Yes, five of his poor relations.” Encouragement By Virginia Woods Mackall LIKE to think that I am kind And have a pleasant, willing mind. And though the reason’s hard to tell, It seems to work out very well; For when my conscience brood I'm much too worried to be good, starts to But when I seem most nice to me— How nice to others I can be! quires that they should declare the causes (Eastern standard time) which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal (except Fri- days); that they are endowed by their Cre- ator (read up) with in- herent and inalienable rights (read down); that among these are life (continuous be- tween points), liberty (water route), and the pursuit of happiness (also subject to change). MANUFACTURING REPUTATION A New Jersey de- bating society has just decided that Edison is the greatest man among the educated classes, and that Jack Dempsey is most truly “upper - crust” among theuneducated. Which reminds us that when the redoubtable Jack was in training last spring at Atlantic City in preparation for his fight with Mons. Georges Carpentier, a friend who accompan- ied us to the training quarters asked Jack, point blank, to bestow on him a black eye. “And why,” asked the champion, “do you want a black eye?” “Well,” was the re- ply, “when anyone asks me where I got it I can say you gave it to me?” “But,” replied the puzzled pugilist, “what reason would you give as to why I should strike you?” “Oh,” gaily = an- swered the young man, “T would say I hit you first!” Drawn by EpNa Drrz.er. The “Follies” girl identifies herself. n comicbooks.com