Judge — May 6, 1922 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE FINISHING SCHOOL By G. W. Carmany, Amherst HE Joneses lived next door to Lucien out in Lilliput, a small town in the mid- dle wes “Bobby Jones,” said Lucien one morning, “why don’t you come on East and go to F college with me?” “Naw, Luce, guess I know enough for this town. ’Sides I ain’t got time for col- As Most Persons See a College Man’s Day | lege lernin’. The day Lucien left for college wasn’t an 1 } easy one. For besides his folks there was . . : Mary to bid good-by. Plain little Mary, Wakes at 11A.M. All Needing money, he | Going into town he 4s Lucien had called her. He had loved college men are lazy. climbs into the Presi- kills a traffic cop with her for two years now and he was only 1 dent’s study and steals his racing car. seventeen, and this was their first separa- a watch. tion. ‘ “Promise me you'll be a good boy, Lucien,” JUsHeE Mary pleaded. | Pence I will be a good boy, and when is over, I'll come back for you, : He pushed back her braids ‘and ed her. There were tears in all four At college early in his freshman year Lucien tasted liquor for the first time. By the end of the year getting tight every Saturday he considered the week-end di- version. There were girls, too, After sev- eral house parties Lucien began to find his stuff; petting came as second nature shortly. At 1 P.M. he has a At 2 P.M. he marries At 3 P.M. he gets his thee eee Tienes whites during which slight attack of wood a chorus girl. daily summons to the Lucien worked in New York in summer alcohol poisoning. Dean's office. and visits to the homes of some college chums took much of his vacations. Interest in Lilliput lagged and he neglected Mary shamefull; Through senior year Lucien began to feel that perhaps these sort of girls were too frivilous to consider seriously. He began to think of Mary a n and the old feeling slowly returned. On his graduation and arrival home he immediately asked his She's living only “Oh, I'll run down and see he At the door Mary met him. “Oh, Mary,” i From 3 to 3.30 P.M. At 3.36 P.M. he kills At 4 P.M. he has a he bubbled, “it’s so good to see you.” And H he confers with local an old woman with rac-_ slight attack of poison- then, “I’ve come back for you, Mary.” j bootlegger. ing car. ing from fusel oil in ‘That's the nice thing about small town fel- ; lows, they're so steady. moonshine. “Back for me? Why; Luce, didn't your wae mother tell you I’m married?” “Married “Why, I married Bobby Jones!” Afterward he hurried home. “Mother,” a he broke in, “mother, why didn’t you tell x me about Mary?” c ) “Mary? Oh, Mary's marriage? Why Lucien, I thought you'd forgotten all about ¥ plain little Mary. i Drawn by W. W. Gower, University of Michigan. i At 4.30 P.M. he mar- At7 P.M. he kills the 8 P.M. finds him sit- ries another chorus girl. chef at his house for ting in on the inevitable | an overdone steak. all-night poker game. THE BEST-SELLER PUBLIC “"PHE way to succeed in letters,” Said the novelist, Harold Bell Goop, “Is to write for the kind of folks who break Their crackers in their soup.” Joseph C. Ryan, Notre Dame, Ind. By All Means, Yes We've all heard about the guy that puts on his hat and then wonders where it is, but we vote a free ticket of fame to the guy that dropped his lid from a third-story window and then leaned out to pick Robert M. Moore, Stanford "2 = As We Expected There was a golfer in our town ome ere ae He tortured all our lives; rawn by E. M. ScHnweT?, vi io mi i ‘Texas A. and M. College ‘22 He, bragged with all hie might and main, pray by Pau W. Leicn, Lafayette Collcze. A Clean Getaway. Raymond A. Schenk, St. Louis U. '23. “Our Modern Eve.” comicbooks.com