Judge — May 6, 1922 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a “Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” A BIBLE FOR EVERYBODY CCORDING to H. G. Wells humanity needs a new bible, one adapted to the interests and needs of all classes of people The following authors have certain qualif cations for some of these classes. Grantland Rice—for collegians Boccaccio—for_ co-eds. Elinor Glyn—for old maids. F. Scott Fitzgerald—for flappers Nathan and Mencken—for budding jour nalists and adolescent authors. hiavelli—for captains of indust L. E. Ginsburg, Ohio State l Disappointed “How was the dance?” “Rotten! I came out with my own over- coat.” Harry W. Flannery, Notre Dame, Ind. '24 THoMPsoN, Stanford "22 N, Stanford ‘22 Drawn by ( Hunch by Tommy Gri Smith—Better_ come with me and have a drink. I’m trying out a new recipe. Smythe—Sorry, old man. I took my guinea pig down to a bootlegger’s last night and he hasn't slept it off yet. A FRESHMAN’S LAMENTATION By Warren J. Miller, Pennsylvania '23 T’S not this awkward, hayseed air I brought along from Main Nor yet the punkin-husker stare, And absence of a brain. It’s this fool tie and dinky cap That make the Sophs set up the yap: Hey, Frosh! They ask me for a yockahoo They ask me for a match; Or else some boob will order you To help wind up his watch. And if I try to walk away, A dozen of ‘em start to bray: Hey, Frosh! They work me hard from morn till night, And then from night till morn; Oh, Ma! I often wish I might Be back home. shuckin’ corn. And when I’m sure I’ve ‘scaped ‘em all, Then sure as fate—that battle call: Hey, Frosh! Her Smoke Jim—Did you ever see her smoke? Tim—I'll say I did. She passed me in her Stutz once. C. H. Kirk, Wisconsin Technically, Yes New York Preacher—I've accepted a pul- pit_in Los Angeles. Friend—A long-distance call, ch? W. L. Stroud, Penn. State '22. Drawn by Fyre, Cornel MODERN FEMININITY By Wendell Buck, Cornell ’23 N ODERN girls can be classified with a V4 fair degree of accuracy into two great categories: the good-looking ones, and the brainy ones. The two elements, brains and good looks, are seldom, if ever, found com- bined in an ideal proportion in the modern female. She is either 100 per cent. brainy, or 100 per cent. good-looking. Let us cit examples. Take the modern “flapper.” There are but few who deny that she is attractive, ingenious, and clever, but no- body will ever accuse her of being brainy Her brain is about as active as a snail, and as dormant as Rip Van Winkle. However, her head contains a great deal of vacant space into which the brain, for all indi- viduals possess a brain, may ultimately ex- pand. On the other hand consider the young female college intellect, studiously inclined. As a rule, she is rather slow, un- attractive, and lacking in spontaniety. | But her brain is ne&rly 100 per cent. efficient. If you don’t believe it, just start an argu ment with her. So, men, after all, it is a case of brains versus beauty. Since your chances of find- ing a good combination of the two are practically nil, you must choose one of the two. Considering that “A thing of beauty is a joy forever,” while the desirability of a developed brain in any woman is open to debate, perhaps it had better be beauty. Camera! Action! Jellybean—Lord, man, what happened to your bathing suit? It’s all cut off! Curb Cootie—Yes. That’s the way my girl gave it back to me after I lent it to her last week. Howard S. Aronson, U. of Texas. Professional a The young stew had just received a res- nt check for two for fifty beakers. bit surprised, and called for the iter. With a confidential air he s to this rather large gent: “Say, rake-off for anyone in the “Ah, to be sure, certainly!” amiably re plied the hard-boiled gent. “What business are you in, sir?” “I'm _a burglar.” Henry T. Volkening, Princeton °23. Drawn by E. H. Purpy, University of Washington "2 “You blind fellows can’t be too care- ul. “Check! Brushed my teeth with shaving cream this morning.” DANGER! RUN SLOW! FELLOWS, I'm telling you! The little jane who sat next to Horatio on the had the appearance of an train certainl, angel—form divine, heavenly features, ‘n all. The magazine on his lap had little interest for him while that lovely creature was near, and he simply couldn't help watching and admiring her, though he tried not to act like a prude. He wished he knew her, and tried to think of something to say that wouldn't sound as if he wanted to start a conversation. But Horatio was a University student, so he could think of nothing sensible. Then the girl gave him one of the sweet- est looks imaginable. A pretty little blush crimsoned her cheek as their eyes met. Sud- denly her handbag slipped to the floor. Quickly Horatio bent over to recover it for nd at the same time the girl reached As she did so he noticed a signet ring on her finger—a signet that he was ry familiar with. You—you are a co-ed at the y?” he gasped. came the reply in a low, sweet And immediately he resumed reading his magazine Warren J. Miller, Pennsylvania "23. Drawn by Prep Fisner, Stanford ‘24. “Honi soit qui mal y pense.”