Judge — April 29, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT OUR VILLAGE CONCERT Giles—I_ reckon it be gettin’ late, Garge, ’cos they be singin’ two at a time now.—Passing Show (London). “Paw,” excitedly exclaimed young Runt. “Zeke Yawkey and a passel of fellers are out in front. They say the bank at Tumlinville has been robbed, and they want you to grab your gun and go with ’em to hunt the robbers!” “Tell ’em I'm much obleeged and powerful sorry,” replied Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, “but I hain’t in no shape to j’'ine ’em. Gabe Gosnell dropped in a spell ago and ‘lowed that as he was going to be married this afternoon to the Widder McCorken- dale he'd like to borry my best britches to wear during the anecdote, and as I felt I'd just about as soon sleep to-day as not I let him have ’em. And your maw is just sewing up the gable end of my old ones whur the roan cow hooked me by mistake for her calf or something. So you tell the gents, Runt, that if ’twas ary other time I'd be tickled to go with ’em, but just at present I'll have to lay out.”— Kansas City Star. Doctor—I would suggest a diet. Patient—Well, it will have to be something that agrees with the cook. —Boston Transcript. “Please switch off the radiophone, won't you, dear?” “But that’s the famous Mme. Screecholini singing.” “I know, but I think the people in the next apartment are having a family quarrel.”—New York Sun. “T'll explain deduction,” said the young law student, airing his knowl- edge in the home circle. | “In our back yard, for example, is a pile of ashes. By deduction that is evidence that we've had fires going this winter.” “By the way, John,” broke in his father, “you might go out and sift the evidence.”"—Boston Transcript. Manager—Stop that, please! Guest—We're not dancing! Sir Philip Gibbs, the famous war correspondent and author, looks ex- tremely young to be the father of a nineteen-year-old son, to whom he refers as “this youth of mine.” When a New York City interviewer com- mented on this fact, Sir Philip related the following: “I had an interview with President Harding shortly after my arrival in America, and I intro- duced my son. The President was very much surprised that I have a son at all, much less one nineteen years of age, and he said it reminded him of when Justice Day, who is a very little man, introduced his son, who is six feet four, to Chief Justice White. The Chief Justice looked at this pair and said: ‘A block of the old chip, I guess.’ "—Indianapolis Star. “That new girl is an experienced waitress, all right,” asserted Heloise of the rapid fire restaurant. “Ye-ah?” returned Claudine of the same establishment. “Tl say she is! Why, before wip- ing off the counter she asked the first man she went to if he was married!"”— Kansas City Star. You can’t dance here, sir! My wife has fainted!—Passing Show (London). COMICHOOKSseor