Judge — April 29, 1922 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

S T OR IE § T O T EL L JUDGE pays $10 weekly for the best story submitted for this page, and $5 for the second best. All others at regular rates. A THOUGHTFUL SOMNAMBU- LIST A CERTAIN Virginia colonel of the old school, who had been brought up with a firm faith in the wisdom of the maxim of “early to bed and early to rise,” took the precaution each night to see if his son John was safely in bed at 10.30, and then gave no further thought to the matter. One night, however, being a bit restless, he strolled down to the lower hall, where he was somewhat amazed to see John, fully dressed, descending the stairs, shoes in hand. “Hello, dad!” greeted the youth. “Guess I must be walking in my sleep again!” “And on such occa- sions do you always carry your shoes?” asked the colonel. CONVINCING The man had been in mission employ for a number of years, giving satisfactory service; but at last it was discovered that he had two wives, a very common thing in Korea. It thus became the duty of the mission board to convince the man of his error and to persuade him to put away his second wife. However, he demanded a Bible statement to the effect that his course was wrong. After some fruitless delay a good Korean brother announced that he had undisputable evidence that two wives were contrary to Bible theology, and thereupon read: “No man can serve two masters.” First Prize FOREWARNED Old Uncle Ab, a negro preacher, after driving some distance to a country church and preaching on a hot day, was very much disap- pointed at the scant collection. At the close of the service one of the brethren* said, “Dat was a pow'ful good sermon, Brother McIntosh!” “Yes,” said Uncle Ab, “but it’s de las’ one yo" gwine to get at dat price.” Drawn by Geonak Weir Sopho-Moorish. 13 Original, unpublished humorous stories only are wanted. Second Prize THE INFLUENCE The greater part of Farmer Timp- kins’s small farm was not tillable, and to eke out a living friend wife's hens had to be drawn on heavily for eggs. Neighboring farmers were puzzled at the Timpkins family arising each morning at an unseemly early hour. Al Jones, upon meeting Doug Timp- kins one day, questioned the boy. “Well, to tell you the truth.” says Doug, “mother feeds us so many eggs we have to get up to crow.” ONE HALF WAY A man having his luncheon in the coffee-room of a hotel was annoyed by another visitor who, during the whole of the meal, stood with his back toward the fire warming himself and watching him. At length, unable to stand it any longer, the man at the table rang the bell and said: “Waiter, kindly turn that gen- tleman around; I think he’s done on that side!” EUPHONY In an English class in an evening school in Boston the teacher asked for a definition of “euphonious.” An acceptable definition was given, and an ex- ample asked for. Here is the example: “The man is a pre- varicator.” “Do you think that statement _ illustrates the meaning of eupho- nious?” asked _ the teacher. “Yes, indeed. It has a much more pleasing sound than to say, ‘The man is a liar.’”