Judge — April 15, 1922 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ai Y) : Hh ii / \ Sandy—So ye didna’ go away for the New Year, Mac? Mac—No, Sandy. tae enclose a stamped envelope for reply.—Passing Show(London). Guest—Do you make a reduction to people in the same line of business? Manager—Yes. Are you a restaura- teur? “No. I'ma thief by profession.”— La Baionnette (Paris). “What's it the sign of when your girl refuses to kiss you?” asks a hurt contemporary. Well, it used to mean she had a split lip or had been eating onions, and we don't believe the femi- nine nature has changed any.—Buffalo Times. “The Gadders are still talking of going abroad.” “Yes, but I don’t believe they have the slightest intention of going.” “Then why do they talk about it?” “Remarks of that sort make a pro- found impression in $5,000-a-year circles.”—Birmingham Age-Herald. Teacher—Willie, can you tell me how matches are made? Willie—No, ma’am; but I don't blame you for wanting to find out. “Why, what do you mean?” “Mother says you have been trying to make one for years.” — Detroit News. Personally we think it is nice for a man to be always-cheerful, but it gets on our nerves for a dentist to sing at his work.—Dallas News. “What prevented the Capperding- Pepperdance wedding?” inquired the able editor of the Tumlinville Torch of Liberty and Tocsin of the Times. “Well, some says the bride was too hasty,” replied Newt Stradling from out about Frog Level. ‘And as she whipped the groom for something or nuther while they were waiting for the preacher to come, and so enthusias- tically so, as you might put it, that when he tore loose from her and lit out he got to going so fast they say he hain’t arrived back yet, I reckon likely they are right about it.’—Kan- sas City Star. Young Housewife (timidly)—They look nice, but—aren’t they just a little —just a little— Fishmonger—Don’t yer worry about that, mum. They was caught when the tide was on the turn.—Pearson’s Weekly. The Macgregors wrote an’ invited me to their place, an’ I'd like to have gone, but they forgot “How much did you make during the war?” “Ten dollars a day.” “Did you earn it?” “Boss, I'll be frank with you. Some- times my conscience hurt me, so the only way I could get any relief was to stand in the street and cheer the flag until I was hoarse.”"—Birmingham Age-Herald. “I verily believe that Mrs. Newrich thinks as much of her dog as she does of her baby.” “Well, one can hardly blame her; the dog has a_ pedigree.” — Boston Transcript. “I must get a new siren for my car.” “Has your old girl given you the shake?”—Louisville Courier-Journal. “Were you a bright boy at school?” “Very,” replied Senator Sorghum. “I was not very strong for text-books, but I was a wonder at thinking up excuses for not being able to answer some of the questions put to me.”— Washington Star. “There are many roads to riches.” “I quite agree with you,” said a prosperous looking citizen who, as a matter of fact, was a bootlegger. “Have you any choice?” “Personally, I prefer a milk route.” —Birmingham Age-Herald.