Judge — April 1, 1922 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Merry Hints for April Fool’s Day By Norman ANTHONY N THE spring a youngster’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of fun, and April first is the occasion when youth should come into its own and gayety prevail. A dull, rainy day may be turned into one of joy and gladness, with a few boyish pranks, and households the country over should resound with merry peals of laughter. The younger generation should be encouraged to celebrate this day, and we have arranged a simple little schedule for the young folks, which will endear them to the hearts of their elders. Great fun can be had by scattering tacks on the floor in grandma’s bedroom. Bright and early in the morning place a nice, big, black cat on her chest. This will cause her to leap out of bed, and when she lands on the tacks the fun will be fast and furious. The playing of a mouth organ will add a great deal to the merriment, while she is dancing. Start the day with a merry bang for father by cut- ting a saw-edge in his razor, and when he is in the middle of his bath open the door and inform him the house is on fire. Before doing this, place a few cakes of soap near the threshold, and the chances are very happy that he will strike one of them. When he has reached the front lawn, lock the front door on him, and cry “April fool!” If any of the neighbors happen to be passing, this will only add to the fun. Mother should not be neglected, but we should re- member to always be kind to our mothers, and just cut the trimming off her hats, or indulge in some other merry and harmless little prank. Grandpa shouldn’t be left out, as this would hurt his feelings; so when his wheel-chair is placed on the front veranda, tie a rope to it and fasten the other end to the Ford. When father starts out, tell him he is late and to hurry, and grandpa will naturally follow. In case the Ford is a bit run down, a quart or two of alco- hol in the gasolene tank will speed it up, considerably. Grandpa probably hasn’t been to town in five or ten years, so this will not only amuse him, but please him greatly, and he will undoubtedly remember you in his will. A few firecrackers placed in the kitchen stove will give the cools jolly surprise, and if this causes her to leave, the joke’Wwill be on mother. When‘ time hangs heavy during the day, visit the neigh- bors, jand‘inform them your mother wishes them to come to dinner. When the guests begin to arrive the confusion will be daughable, and to add to the merriment you might run wires across the front walk about a foot from the ground. A happy thought would be to saw away the sides of the front steps so that they will collapse when stood upon. Sticking a pin through the doorbell button will bring forth many a hearty laugh after the adventurous journey from the front gate. The Fat One—Don’t you adore Freud! He makes one feel so narrow! Mother and father will, of course, rise to the occasion, and while the guests are being given “pot luck,” you can run quickly down in the cellar and turn off the electric lights. It might be good fun to saw the legs of the diningroom chairs nearly through, as this always enlivens the dinner hour. While the lights are out and the guests are making merry in the dark, shoot off father’s old army revolver several times, and then run out in the back yard and groan loudly. Before the approach of the frightened guests, start the lawn sprinkler going merrily. There is no end to the number of cunning antics the little folks may indulge in, but space prevents going further into details. If this schedule is followed faithfully it cannot but warm the hearts of the older folks—and then again something else may get warmed! lg || and she seems to care If you love the girl across about you, the light well, 7 a meet her half way— and send for the janitor. APARTMENT HOUSE ETHICS