Judge — April 1, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mrs. Jones found Mrs. Smith, the aviator’s wife, in tears. “Whatever is the matter, my dear?” she asked, anxiously. “I’m worrying about Harold,” said Mrs. Smith. ‘“He’s been trying for a week to kill our cat, and as a last re- source he took her up in his plane. He said he would take her up two thou- sand feet and drop her over the side.” “Well, what is there to worry about?” “Lots,” exclaimed the frantic woman. “Harold isn’t home yet, and the cat is."—Harper’s Magazine. “Mister,” began the seedy-looking man, “I haven’t got no home and—” “No taxes to pay,” interrupted the man addressed, “no coal bills; no worry lest the landlord raise your rent. Permit me to congratulate you.” “T have no job and—” No danger of getting “Lucky chap! fired.” “But I'm serious, mister. money and—” “No temptation to spend it foolishly on able-bodied beggars. Why, you're the very child of fortune. Good day!” —Boston Transcript. I have no “Have you heard that Mrs. Johnson was standing at an upper story window and fell down?” “Good heavens!” “Oh, it was not serious. She fell down inside!"”—Kasper (Stockholm). “The thief took my watch, my purse, my pocketbook—in short, everything.” “But I thought you carried a loaded revolver?” “IT do—but he didn’t find that.”— Kansas City Star. SO EASY! “Good ’eavens, Martha, what’s all that row?” “Oh, that’s only the feller from the ‘Ire Furnishers collectin’ ‘is easy payments!"—Passing Show (London). 28 Recently a traveler called at an hotel in Paris and asked what the charge was for rooms. “Forty francs for the first floor, thirty francs for the second, twenty francs for the third, and ten francs for the fourth floor,” replied the hotel proprietor. “Oh, very well, thank you,” said the traveler, as he turned to go away. “That does not please you?” replied the proprietor, as he called him back. “Oh, your prices are all right,” said the traveler, “but your hotel is not high enough for me.” — Pearson's Weekly (London). “Every city,” says a trade journal, “is face to face with the problem of widening its streets.” Given time, the problem will settle itself. In a few more years the side- walks can be taken up and given over to vehicular traffic. There won't be any pedestrians left.—Detroit Motor News. “It isn’t the first cost that counts.” “That's right. Youcan get a mar- riage license for a dollar.”—Louisville Courier-Journal.