Judge — April 1, 1922 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Digest of the World’s Humor “Do hurry up! By the time you have finished shaving this side of my face, there will be a beard on the other side.”—Le Rire (Paris). 6 HAT is the subject of this photoplay?” 's a story of the great north.” “Big trees, snow storms, love in the wilds, and all that sort of thing?” “Yes, and the hero is a pretty chap who's never been 500 miles from steam heat in his life."—Birmingham Age- Herald. Mistress—I've lost the key of my writing-desk, Marie. Go and look in the old trunk in the kitchen—you might find an old key that will fit. Marie—It’s no ‘use, madame, I tried them all long ago, and none of them fit—Le Matin (Paris). Ethel—Oh, Richard, when we are married I don’t think I could live in a little flat. Fiancé—You don’t love me when you say that, Ethel. Ethel—Oh, yes, I do; but not on such a small scale.—Boston Transcript. “T’'ve noticed,” philosophically said Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark., who is a great hand to think things out, no matter how long the operation may require, “that when a feller starts to figuring on getting married he’s no earthly account till he gets married.” “No!” snapped Mrs. Johnson, look- ing meaningly at her spouse. “And in a whole lot of cases not after- wards, neither!"—Kansas City Star. “Why do you constantly favor new methods of taxation?” “I consider it necessary,” said Sena- tor Sorghum, “to enable the people to look forward to some kind of a change. If we can’t satisfy em, we can at least keep ’em hopeful.”—Washington Star. “How are you to-day?” thetically inquired a neighbor. “I reckon I'm coming along all right,” replied the gaunt Missourian. “But b’dogged if I am anywhurs nigh wanting to j’ine no circus yet awhile.” —Kansas City Star. sympa- A little girl’s report card read, “Whispers too much.” “You shouldn’t whisper in school, honey,” said her father. “Well, daddy, what can I do?” she replied. “They won't let us talk out loud.”—Boston Transcript. “Mr. Wadleigh, a gentleman waits without to see you on urgent business.” “Does he look prosperous?” “He looks poor.” “In that case the urgency is his. Let him wait.”— Birmingham Age- Herald. “I suppose it was a proud moment in Mrs. Gadder’s life when she cast her first vote?” “It was indeed,” said Mr. Gadder, “but something of a disappointment, too.” “Was her candidate defeated?” “No, he was elected; but it was several weeks before Mrs. Gadder dis- covered that it isn’t customary for a successful candidate to send a note of thanks for each vote received.”—Bir- mingham Age-Herald. “Why do you keep on being a col- lege professor?” “Well, we have to do the best we can in this life. I did try to answer a list of questions a factory man has for office boys, but I made too poor a percentage to pass.”—Detroit Free Press. “Why are you agriculturists always complaining?” “I dunno,” answered Farmer Corn- tassel. ‘I never met anybody in any walk of life who didn’t have something to kick about. Maybe us farmers just join in so’s to keep from seeming un- sociable.”"—Washington Star. The Diner (swaliowing soup noisily)—Jolly good soup, this. The Listener—Yes, it sounds good.—London Opinion. 22 comichooks.com