Judge, 1922-03-18 · page 9 of 36
Judge — March 18, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains two separate humorous stories from *Judge* magazine: **"Brag"**: A California railroad passenger boasts endlessly about his state's superior climate and crops. A quiet Midwesterner (from Detroit) deflates him with a trick comeback: he claims Detroit has a ten-story building with "neither elevators nor stairways." When asked how people reach upper floors, he answers "Climb it"—exposing the Californian's bragging as equally absurd. **"Smith's Apology"**: A man forced to apologize to Brown arrives at his apartment but asks "Does Mr. Taylor live here?" When told no, Smith simply says "then I apologize" and leaves. The joke: Smith technically fulfilled his promise to apologize—just to the wrong person, at the wrong address—a technically-correct but deliberately evasive non-apology. Both stories mock self-important boasting and offer clever, mischievous comebacks that expose pretension or exploit literal language to escape obligation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Pst! Jim, that recipe you gave me was no “Zhat sho?” BRAG A group of traveling salesmen were having a talkfest in a club car on a train in the Middle West. A native son of California had quickly proved himself to have the greatest vocal en- durance, and was exclaiming endlessly on that ever-popular subject, the won- derful climate of his native State. He gave glowing descriptions of the scenery and told unbelievable tales of marvelous crops. Invariably his ex- planation of these seeming phenomena was: “Climate, gentlemen; climate!” Finally, a quiet, unassuming, young fellow spoke up: “Brother,” said he, “we'll all have to admit you have some State, but we have some things in the East of which we are also justly proud. For example, in my home city of De- troit we boast of a ten-story building which has neither elevators nor stair- ways.” “And how, pray,” asked the Cali- fornian quickly, “does one get to the upper floors?” “Climb it, gentlemen; climb it,” an- swered the Detroiter. SMITH’S APOLOGY Smith had offended Brown. Furious, Brown demanded an apology. Smith refused, but his friends advised him to comply. After much persuasion, Smith good!” yielded and promised to apologize at Brown’s apartment the same evening. Brown was elated. He invited a num- ber of friends to be present when Smith came to apologize. The party was merrily laughing and smoking when a timid knock was heard. With a stentorian voice Brown called, “Come in!” Slowly the door opened, but only far enough to admit the head of Smith, who asked: “Does Mr. Taylor live here?” Astonished, Brown replied, “Why, no, he lives in the next apartment.” “Ah,” said Smith, “then I apologize.” And amid the laughter of the assembled men he withdrew and closed the door. comicbooks.com