Judge — March 4, 1922 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOOK-A-HERE! HAD a date the Other night. And I Tried to kiss her. She very coldly Requested me to Leave. I did. On another party I behaved like A gentleman; I Kept my distance From the young Lady, and when I Left she requested That I should not Come again and Remarked that I Was too slow for Her, which all goes To prove that Barnum was correct. —Syracuse Orange Peel. THAT'S DIFFERENT AGAIN— Senior (to Freshman who has just arrived)—I want to give you a bit of advice! Fresh Freshman—Awright, want to give you some, too. “Well, what is it?” “Follow the advice you are going to give me.”—Georgia Cracker. but I ADDITION Prisoner—Good morning, Judge. Judge—How old are you? “Twenty-nine.” “You'll be thirty when you get out.” —Chicago Phoenix. “Have you ever read ‘To a Field- mouse’?” “Why, no! How do you get them to listen?”—Yale Record. With the College Wits Irrepressible, Joyous, Irresponsible Brooks—A girl's skirt blew up on Broadway the other day... . Lucile—Yes, yes; go on! “And the shock could be felt for blocks.”"—Princeton Tiger. Are You Coming In? UDGE'S Annual College Wits Number will be published on May 6 next. Are you going to be represented in it? All matter for this number should be in our hands early in March. All matter sub- mitted should be addressed “College Wits Editor, JUDGE, 627 West 43d Street, New York." All matter accepted will be paid for. And there are three trophies—handsome silver cups—for the best college showing, for the best literary feature, and for the best art feature. Each contribution must bear the name, class and college of the contributor. Are you coming in? PRONUNCIAMENTO Flappers ... flappers . . . beautiful, nifty, passionate, gum-chewing. I have heard evil things said of you. I have heard it said that you are without conscience, and have patterned your conduct after Theda Bara, and delight in luring the yokels from the straight and narrow. I have heard these things and I have seen them myself, and I know they are true, but just the same I’m for you. . « « You know your oil. I sometimes regard you very seri- ously when you are holding hilarious gala and wassail over a bottle of Bevo with a boob and an egg sandwich. 22 And your art often makes me think of Bill Hart and the Northwestern Mounted Police, for when they go out they always get their man.—Iowa Frivol. APPRECIATED “How do you feel to-night?” “Oh, way above par.” “How’s that?” “My girl told me she takes lots of stock in me.”—Yale Record. WISE LAD The boy stood on the burning deck, He did not cry or shout. He waited till the boat went down And put the fire out. —Boston Beanpot. NO PEP Raugh—So your cawlidge cawmic isn’t making a hit? Raw—Naw. None of the faculty is even talking of kicking it out—Wash- ington and Jefferson Wag Jag. A HINT? Father—What does your teacher say about your poor arithmetic work? Anthony—He said he’d rather you would not help me with it—Harvard Lampoon. A CORRECT Teacher—Now, Rollo, use the word “ruthless” in a sentence. Rollo—Every team in the American League except the Yankees is Ruth- less—Notre Dame Juggler. a" “Wasn't it dark out here last night?” —Missouri Showme.