Judge — February 25, 1922 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“pee ts" CASUAL COLLEGIANS “No,” Pete, “you can’t.” Pete is one of my two roommates at Branford College; Al is the other. We three were seated in our room trying to kill time until twelve- thirty—the lunch hour. “Can't what?” I said. “Can’t borrow any- thing of mine —ciga- rettes, tobacco, writing paper—anything.” said “Good boy, Pete,” said Al, lying on the window seat, “take a firm stand Don't weaken.” “You bet I won't weaken,” said Pete. “It’s time somebody broke our roommate of his terrible habit.” “One of his terrible habits,” corrected Al. “Well, I'll be dog- goned I said, “if that—” “Do you know, Al,” said Pete, “what my mother said when she unpacked my trunk last Christmas?” “No, but I can guess,” said Al. “At least she was probably just about as sore as my mother was when she found that all my good handkerchiefs were gone. I didn’t like to tell her that my roommate had borrowed all of them—and yet—” “Exactly,” said Pete. “Well— mother said if I had to room with somebody, I might at least pick out one who had a few clothes of his own.” “Don't try to kid me,” I said, “be- cause—" “And mother sai went on Al, “that in the future she was going to sew my roommate's name instead of mine on my clothes, so that he would be saved the trouble of tearing my name off when he sent the clothes to his laundry.” “Father told my kid brother,” said Pete, “that he wouldn’t let him go to OPPORTUNITY: If at first you don’t succeed—keep at it. By DonaLtp OGDEN STEWART Luthor of “A Parody Outline of History” Illustrated by Joun Hetv Jr. college unless he promised to room with someone whose shirts and collars were several sizes larger than his. He said he didn’t mind providing clothes for one family, but—” “Say, listen,” I said, “all that I—" “It isn’t,” said Al, “that I mind lend- ing my things once in a while.” “Same here,” said Pete, “if I thought there was any chance of getting any- thing back.” “And as for giving clothes away,” said Al, “why, nobody was readier than I to help the Belgians.” “And the Armenians,” said Pete. “But—” “And yet,” went on Al, “you remem- ber the saying—‘Charity begins at home’—” “That's right,” said Pete, “I never thought of that. Probably it is far better that we clothe our roommate. Prob- ably we are doing a finer thing—a nobler thing— than if we sent all these handkerchiefs and col- lars—" “And shirts.” “Yes—and neckties— to the Armenians.” “I tell you what, though,” said Al; “we oughtn't to be so selfish about our charity. We really ought to give others a chance to take part in this great work.” “Fine,” said Pete. “How would it do to have a drive—the Bran- ford College Drive to Provide Clothing for Our Destitute Room- mate—" “Or better than that,” said Al. “How about writing over to France and have each French college man ‘adopt’ an American ‘roommate’— and provide him with collars and shirts—" “Great!” said Pete. “We could have our little roommate here, have his picture taken in the nude and made into a poster—‘Will YOU Help Clothe This Poor American College Student?’” “Or ‘Suppose This Was YOUR Boy!” “When you two humorists,” I said, putting on my overcoat, “get ready to come to lunch—” “Gosh, I'm hungry,” said Al. a minute—" I waited while they hunted for their coats. “Say, Tom,” said Pete to me in his friendliest manner, “do you mind if I borrow your goloshes? I think I left mine at the gym.” “And how about,” said Al, “letting me wear that muffler of yours until I find mine—it'll only be a day or so.” “Certainly, boys,” I said. “You re- member the saying, ‘Charity begins at home.’ " “Wait a AGE 40 | Bill Jones has pur- sued Opportunity all his life and. . . though he has never caught up with it, 7, the open air— and he’s hale and hearty at ninety.