Judge, 1922-02-25 · page 10 of 36
Judge — February 25, 1922 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains three satirical pieces mocking courtship and marriage conventions of the era. **"Highly Recommended"** ridicules a man named Nan who boasts of his wife's qualities, each attributed to a different male admirer (Thomas, James, Julius, Fred, etc.). The satire suggests the wife is either promiscuously flirtatious or the husband is naively credulous—likely both, making him "a very lucky man" in his obliviousness. **"The Quest"** follows Christopher Lead attempting to kiss three different women, each rejecting him by hitting him. The joke subverts expectations: rather than learning his lesson, he simply selects the third woman (Lucille) as his future wife because she's "sensible"—meaning she violently refused him, which somehow proves marriage-worthiness. The satire mocks both his persistent, unwanted advances and the logic of courtship. **"Something Wrong"** is a brief joke about a bride correcting her marriage license number, revealing it's her eighth marriage—satirizing either hasty remarriage or serial matrimony. All three pieces cynically comment on marriage as transactional and based on superficial qualities or poor judgment.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Highly Recommended By Raymond L. Kurtz NAN'S lips are sweet (for Thomas told me so), Her hands are soft (I think James ought to know); She likes to hug (at least so Julius said); She loves to kiss (I got this straight from Fred). A ring looks swell upon her hand (said Dick); When she says “yes” she’s charming (murmured Nick). She loves the lights real low (I learned from Ned); Her hair is silky (this I owe to Jed). She cuddles, oh, so nicely (vowed Eugene) ; She clings to one so vinelike (mur- mured Deane). Her cheeks are made of velvet (gurgled Van); Their color ne'er comes off (suggested Dan). I really feel that with kind words like these— You folks may view the matter as you please— That I'm indeed a very lucky man To get so versatile a wife as Nan. Ledge? Henpecked—That's just my wife the last word The Quest By H. H. Null E tried to kiss her. She slapped him. She cried. Helaughed. He left. To the brownstone lions, couched on either side of the front steps, he con- fided that he did not wish to marry her. It was a good thing that he didn't. Christopher Lead, a caller at another household, was smoking. With a single, smooth movement he laid his cigarette aside and kissed his com- panion. With a single, decisive mo- ment she sent Christopher sprawling on the floor. Her face was stern as she handed him his hat. The front steps not being guarded with couchant lions, Christopher remarked to an elegant ornamental street lamp that Lorine was certainly not the woman he would fancy as a wife. His judgment was excellent. The third room in which we may Passerby—Say, who is that woman screeching her lungs out over there on Echo She's been an hour and a half trying to have The efficiency expert takes his twins out for a stroll. note Christopher could be described as showing wealth, refinement and good taste. So could the third woman, whose room it happened to be, Chris- topher’s cuff glistened on her left side Christopher was sitting on her right side. A moment later he was sitting on the floor. He had tried to kiss her. “Why not cry?” he asked solicit- ously. “They all do, you know.” “Do you try to kiss every woman on whom you call, Mr. Lead?” “Some women are not beautiful.” “Did you make this call to find out if you could kiss me?” “That was primarily my object.” “Secondarily?” “To find a sensible woman.” “Successful?” “I don’t know yet.” me if you want to. ssed by handsome and 2 2. 3 < c i, 5 a x clever men.” There were no lions or street lamps in front of the house. A milk bottle down the street served, and he ad dressed that: “Lucille is wealthy and beautiful Furthermore, she is sensible. I shall marry her.” THROUGH VARIOUS WAYS The Indian maiden treads softly in her mocca- sins; in Holland it is wood en shoes; in Italy they may be barefoot; in Russia they wear boots; in France you see them in high-heeled slippers; in England they appear in common sense heels with wide toes; in America it is first one style and then another; but, bless their dear hearts, they are charming howsoe’er you find them! SCMETHING WRONG Blushing Bride—There is a mistake in this license. It is number 6758. Clerk of Marriage Bureau—That is correct “Oh, no! This is only my eighth marriage.” ma used wa. —. .. 7 tae cee