Judge — February 18, 1922 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wit and Wisdom of Children DIGNITY A small boy was sitting next to a rather fussy woman in a crowded car, and he kept sniffing in a most annoy- ing way. Finally she asked: “Boy, have you got a handkerchief?” The small boy looked at her for a few seconds, and then, in a dignified manner, replied: “Yes, I have; but I don't lend it to strangers.” WHAT THE SWITCH WAS FOR A little girl was entertaining a caller until her mother should appear. She noticed the caller's eye wander to a switch on the mantel. “We keep that switch for our little dog,” volunteered the child. “Really, and where is your little dog?” inquired the visitor. “We haven't bought it yet,” the little girl answered. JUST MADE OVER After Mr. Brown had raked his yard he took the accumulated rubbish into the street to burn. A number of neigh- bors’ children came flocking about the bonfire, among them a little girl whom Mr. Brown did not remem- ber having seen before. Wishing to make the stranger feel at ease, he beamed upon her and_ said, heartily: “Hello, isn’t this a new face?” A deep red suffused her freckles. “No,” she stammered, “it ain't new. It’s just been washed.” HUGHES’ zoo Miss G. Raff (to the portrait painter)— Tell me, Mister Monk, do you charge by the foot or by the yard? AN ALTERNATIVE Two children were playing on a back porch. The mother, in an ad- joining room, heard the remark: “Well, I can’t make an angel out of you, but I'm going to make a devil!” The mother peeped out to see just how this was to be accomplished. To her horror she saw the younger child standing very still, completely un- dressed, while the older child was applying a complete coating of green paint. A PERFECTLY GOOD ANSWER A teacher had a class studying the Colonial period in United States his- tory. One of the questions was: “What is meant by religious persecu- tion?” One of the girls gave this answer: “In olden times, when people went to church, all the men had to sit on one side and all the women on the other. This was religious persecution.” “IS THIS ALL?” After all sorts of hints, finally Johnny succeeded in getting a nickel from his mother, but he failed to thank her for it. Whereupon the mother somewhat ashamed of her offspring’s rudeness, remonstrated: “Johnny, you are awfully forget- ful. What should you say when you get something?” “I can’t tell,” was Johnny’s only reply. “You can't tell? Why, Johnny, it’s awful! What does mamma say when papa gives her money?” “Is this all?” the goirlync ondeck! « Meforagame ofgolf are sailing with ts Now. 1 w Tun short of hat-plumes- Charles A }