Judge — February 4, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irrepressible, VA “Ever hear the story about the golden fleece?” . “No; do they bite?” — Princeton Tiger. SMART STUFF “Lips that touch a cigaroot, Shall never rest beneath my snoot,” So the sweet young girlie used to say. But now the saying’s on the shelf, She even uses pills herself, And it looks as if the habit’s come to stay. —Chicago Phenix, WE KNOW HER There was a young lady named Maud; A very deceptive young fraud. She never was able To eat at the table, But out in the pantry—O Lawd! —Ohio Sun Dial. ADVICE Whenever anyone Offers to give you something for noth- ing Or more for something than it’s worth, Or something for less than it's worth, || Yell for a cop! —New York Mercury. THE ACCIDENT “I was just knocked flat by a Twin Six.” “My, how unfortunate!” “Yes, it was very unnatural. Shot a twelve in a crap game.”—Johns Hopkins Black and Blue Jay. e Colle Joyous, Are You Coming In ? UDGE'S Annual College Wits Number will be published on May 6 next. Are you going to be represented in it? All contributions for this num- ber should be in our hands early in March. All matter submitted should be addressed “College Wits Editor, Judge, 627 West 43d Street, New York.” All matter accepted will be paid for. And there are three trophies —handsome silver cups—for the best college showing, for the best literary feature, and for the best art feature. Each contribution must bear the name, class and college of the con- tributor. Are you coming in? Tom—What's the difference between betting and bluffing? Jack—A good deal.”"—Jester. Watch—And why does that man always refer to you as his baby girl? Fob—Oh, I don’t know. I suppose I keep him up so late of nights. —Jowa Frivol. 1 ge Wits Irresponsible “Johnny Grasshopper, why did you break your engagement to Miss Moth?” “Ah, she was all the time chewing !"—Ohio Wesleyan Mirror. WELL, RAWTHER I used to be bashful, But so good have I grown That I can love other men's sisters As well as my own. —Cornell Widow. PROOF OF PROTECTION “Marion certainly must be a good girl.” “Why so?” “Her name came up in the barber shop last night, and no one knew any- thing about her."—Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. ONLY WHEN Ho—Did you ever stop to see Mil- dred? Bo—Only when she was getting on a car.—Colgate Banter. INNOCENCE Father—Well, Mary, you have a brand-new baby sister. Mary—Oh, daddy, may I be the first one to tell mamma?—Colgate Banter. QUERY She—Don't you think that talkative women are the most popular? He—What other kinds are there?— Boston Beanpot. A young theologian named Fiddle Refused to accept his degree. The answer is surely no riddle, He was loath to be “Fiddle, D. D.” —Denison Flamingo. comichoo!