Judge — January 28, 1922 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Bridegroom’s Dog—He can't fool me! A Samaritan in Politics By Charles Irvin Junkin CERTAIN man went down from Anyoldtown to Washington, and got stuck in the mud on the National Highway, stripped of his income, des- titute of gasoline, and half-dead from hunger and thirst And, by chance, there came that way a certain Republican, and when he saw him he remembered at once that his own Political Fences were in instant need of attention, and he passed by on the other side. And likewise a Democrat, when he was at the place, looked at him, and then suddenly remembered that he THE THOROUGH-BREAD might even yet nail down some sort of a small Fat Job, and he also passed by on the other side. And behold! A Prohibitionist drew near, and was sore grieved over a brother's sorrow, until he smelled a smell and hurried off to find the Hid- den Still, and thus he, too, passed by on the far side Likewise a Socialist, when he was at the place, wept bitter tears of sym- pathy, and spake kindly words until it appeared that the sufferer*did not be- long to the simon-pure Proletariat, and the Socialist thereupon proceeded to scurry, off And lo! a Laborite approached the spot, breathing heaven, and paradise, Say. Those aren't my dog biscuits! and elysium, and was straightway moved to aid the fallen brother, until he noticed that the unfortunate one did not wear a Union button, and he, too, vanished in the distance. But a certain Samaritan, as he jour- neyed, came where he was, and had compassion on him, pulled him out of the mire, listened to his troubles, and at once set to work to solve his diffi- culties. And he set him on his own beast, and *took him to Washington, and said to the Host: “Take care of him, a plain and needy American, and if you do not give him an Even Chance and a Square Deal, when I come again I will settle with YOU!"