Judge — January 7, 1922 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\ mit i , M IN THE FOG First Pedestrian (colliding with pil- lar box)—Oh! I beg your pardon. Second ditto (running into same pillar box)—Not at all—my fault!— London Opinion. EW. Howe of Kansas has been something of a traveler. He made a number of trips abroad and went twice around the world. It was on his first trip abroad that he encountered one of the sea hounds whose chief boast is concerned with the number of times they have crossed the Atlantic. Mr. Howe tells the incident as his favorite story. “Is this your first trip?” the sea hound asked Mr. Howe on the occasion of their first meeting. Mr. Howe ad- mitted that it was. “Well,” said the sea hound, “I’ve crossed the Atlantic forty times.” On the second day the sea hound again put the question to Mr. Howe and again vouchsafed the same observation. He repeated it at frequent intervals during the trip. It was on the sixth day, after the sea hound had again spoken of the total number of his crossings, that Mr. Howe said to him: “By the way, have you ever been to Omaha?” The sea hound said he never had. “Well,” retorted Mr. Howe, “I go there every week.”—Philadelphia Public Ledger. A colored preacher in Alabama had at one time served a short jail sen- tence and was fearful lest his congre- gation discover the fact, as in his later years he had been a model of rec- titude. One Sunday, rising to begin his ser- mon, his heart sank to see a former cellmate sitting in the front row. Quick thinking was necessary. Fix- ing his eye on the unwelcome guest, the preacher announced solemnly: “Ah takes mah text dis mo’nin’ from de sixty-fo’th chaptah and fo’ hun- dredth verse of de book of Job, which says: ‘Dem as sees and knows me, and says nothin’, dem will Ah see later.”— American Legion Weekly. “Cheer up, old boy; don’t frown just because it is a cloudy day. I notice you’re cheerful enough when the sun shines.” “Well, no wonder; when the sun shines the women in their thin skirts put a little pep into life.”—Florida Times-Union. “The ouija board craze seems to be waning.” 5 a‘ “Much to my regret,” said Mr. Grumpson. : { “How's that?” t ' “T’ve seen a ouija board keep a dozen women quiet for as long as, aye min. utes."—Birmingham Age-Herald. ' \ ‘You are wasting a lot of film. Why don’t you stop shooting when I hand out the word?” . “I get excited,” explained the new cameraman. “I operated a machine gun during the late war.”—Louisville Courier-Journal. “Hear about the joke the gang played on Mac?” “No; what was it?” “They gave him a prescription from a veterinarian and he never discovere, that he had a half-pint of ,horse linj- ment until he reached home.”—New York Sun. , . t HULLO OLD STRANGER FEELING oicKy ? ~ waeat aTonque! YOU OUGHT-10 * | SEE IT you'o SImPLy ROAR! HEAO ACHES ER}, YOU ARE Funny. WHATICURSING HOME? OPERATION? NO! WHAT YOU WANT 1S CHEERIO!. . “Does, your wife let yqu carry @ latchkey?” ~ “Yes,” replied Mr Meekton; “the only person who is now likely to keep me from going into’ my front door is the landlord.”—Washington Star. Home from the sweets of the honey- moon’ Returns the still befooled new groom, 7 To learn right quick, yea, very soon, « That he’s nothing but chauffeur to a broom. ie —Cincinnati Enquirer. Little Mary was visiting her grand- mother in the country.’ Walking in the garden, she chanced to see a pea- cock, a bird she had never seen before. After gazing in silent admiration, she ran quickly into the house and cried out: “Oh, granny, come and see! One of, your chickens is in bloom.”—Chris- -tian Register. ‘*- oe , Li PAINS IN YOUR tee TOMMY! WHAT AA! AA! BA! TEMPERATURE ‘ foahisnr it asceeam! < HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO EAT FOR 3 DAYS. @0 © You RASCAL, saut uP! > “ --ZBocewii An eminent surgeon says “Cheerfulness is the best tonic (practice it, and the results are perfectly wonderful).”—Passing Show (London). comicbooks.com