Judge — December 24, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SUMMER ‘WO summer weeks—oh, short the time! How swift the sweet days roll! Then every morning brought a row, And every night a stroll. These two were never seen apart, No matter what the weather, For rain or shine, indoors or out, But brought these two together. WINTER ON Campus Street, they meet and pass— A bow and that is all. Says she, “The fool I met at York— Hope he won’t come to call.” He sees her bow, and lifts his hat, Politeness to the letter, Says he, “By Jove, I've seen girl, I wonder where I met her!” —Columbus Jester. that THE FRESHMAN PRIMER The Library See the large, white buil-ding! The large, white buil-ding is Mis-ter Car- neg-ies’ Li-bra-ry. See the boys and girls en-ter the li-bra-ry! What is the li-bra-ry for? Let us fol-low them and see! Here we are! See the boys and girls stud-y-ing to-geth-er at the desks! What are they stud-y- ing to-geth-er? Let us look! It is the dic-tion-ary! They have been read-ing it to-geth-er for two hours! How stud-i-ous they are! Are they not?—Penn State Froth. He—I'd like to know why you girls get engaged to several men at once? She—When you have only one match, doesn’t it go out?—Hamilton Royal Gaboon. First English Prof.—lIt’s a disgrace the way my students hash Bacon.” Second Ditto—That’s nothing; my pupils always roast Lamb.—Princeton Tiger. THE WHITE PLAGUE Jack—Did you hear about that ter- rible accident at the ball last night? Jill—No, what was it? “Bess got too near an electric fan, and two men who were standing nearby were almost suffocated by the dust.”"—Washington Sun Dodger. First Hobo—lI’ve thought of a soft job I'd like to have. Second Hobo—Say de glad word, brother. “I'd like to be a trackwalker for an airplane company.” — Lafayette Lyre. Prof—Now when two bodies in motion come together, is heat gener- ated? Voice from rear—No, sir. I hit a guy yesterday and he knocked me cold.—Carnegie Puppet. A man named Du Bose met a girl Who lisped thro’ her teeth of pure pearl. “T’ll hug you or kiss you,” he swore with an oath. She cried with surprise, “Oh, Mr. Du Both!”—Princeton Tiger. 20 HOT DOG LYRIC [™ offa women fer life. It’s a dismal tale to hear. I'm offa women fer life; The reason fer which is clear. She didn’t smile And say, “You’re grand,” And snuggle close And hold my hand— In fact, I wasn’t in much demand. So I’m offa women fer life! I’m offa women fer life. It’s a tale that gives me pain. I’m offa women fer life; The reason fer which is plain. The line she flung Was far too deep, And the jokes I slung Just made her weep. But the worst she did was to fall , asleep— So I'm offa women fer life! He's offa women fer life. It’s a very common song. He’s offa women fer life; It’s easy to guess what’s wrong. He wasn’t flattered Or held in grace, An’ someone else Won the coveted place An’ all he got was a kick in the face— So he’s offa women fer life. —Dartmouth Jack o’ Lantern. UNCONVINCED He—If you refuse me I shall blow out my brains. She—Impossible. “Maybe you don’t think I have a pistol?” “Oh, I daresay you have the pistol all right."—Ambherst Lord Jeff. “What’s a sweet line?” “A candied opinion.” — Georgia Cracker. comicbooks.com