Judge — December 17, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eats The Christmas tree of his dreams SOLD “You will observe,” said the real estate agent, “that the kitchen of this house is equipped with all modern im- provements, including an apparatus for distilling water or anything for drinking purposes.” “T’ll take the house,” agreed the prospect. eS - a “PEACE ON EARTH” Portrait of the man who designs the Merry Xmas cards The Brontosaurus By Ivy KELLERMAN REED HE Brontosaurus whom I choose As subject of my rhyme, Lived many years before mankind, In Mesozoic time. His length was sixty feet or so. He was a monstrous beast, A lizard-footed reptile, who Weighed twenty tons at least. His neck was long, his body short, His head was very small, Compared with creatures living now, He had no brains at all. His lengthy tail was powerful, No doubt it helped to swim, As both the water and the land Were quite all right for him. With hind legs bigger than the front, But massive all, and strong, He made in prehistoric mud Tracks one yard wide and long. For food he ate aquatic plants. And juicy land ones, too; Considering his startling size. He needed quite a few! on NATURALLY “What has become of Riggles, the famous contor- tionist?” “The last time I heard of the poor chap he was afflicted with rheuma- tism and was in a bad way—having a terrible struggle to make both ends meet.” My Walnut Ranch By Grorce F. PAaun WHEN I grow up to be a man T’'ll buy a western ranch And plant it thick with walnut trees To bear on every branch A hundred walnuts plump and fat And big as butter balls, The kind that fellers always like To pelt against the walls. And then I'll have two piles of clubs All cut up two feet long, And these I'll put into the hands Of young- sters quick andstrong. And when I give a sig- nal loud Upon my megaphone They all will club the rip- ened nuts Andmakethe old trees groan. So if you hear a mighty noise, Like San Francisco's quake, And if you feel your house begin To tremble and toa shake, You'll know that it is nutting time On every leafy branch That bears a hundred bouncing nuts On my new walnut ranch A close-up of Santa if he were to bring everything little Billie has enumerated in his Christmas list.