Judge — November 26, 1921 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TURN ABOUT Did you ever wish that some day you could have a “waiting room” and in it place all the doctors and dentists who have wasted so many of your precious moments? Two Nips of Home Brew (Continued from page 3) Once more I sank back into the luxurious cushions and rolled grandly away from the mob by the post-office to the Fountain House, the traveling man’s dream — really a_ nightmare. Here I drew another crowd. I walked in to the desk and asked for a two- dollar cigar—me who sucked on a black corn cob. The proprietor apolo- gized, then handed me out The Har- vester King. I muttered something about the lack cf conveniences in small towns. “Think I'll drive down to the cities to-morrow,” I said. “Reserve a couple dozen cf your best rooms for me, please. I'm going to get a real car. No little old twin-six for yours truly. I’ve always wanted a Simp- Twelve, and by the lord Harry, I don’t see why I shouldn’t have one!” The landlord hastened to agree with me. I heard the lower jaw of his clerk hit the floor with a resounding crash. “Yep! A little glimpse of the theaters, theater parties, the swell cafes, the Hollenden, the Biltmore, the Bass Brook, will do me good. Then Tl drive back in a new aluminum- bodied Zip.” I swung out through the gaping crowd and into the low and rangy, which was | strangely wobbly now, and drove | around to the bank. Here was to be the grand finale to a perfect day. I would | leave it directly in front of the large plate glass window and step leisurely into the bewildered cashier and slap down a check for $10,000 and ask her if she could accommodate me. I don’t know how I -did it. But in trying to BON BONNIE » Tithfrene 35 Cin Malla CHOCOLATES © FRENCH RES EW YORE bring the twin six to a stop in full view of the window—crash! Bang! Shiver my timbers and shivered plate glass! I had put my little old Ford right over the curb, in front of the bank, and through the large plate glass, and there me and the Ford sprawled, with the top bonnet-fashioned down over my head, at the very feet of the fright- Lady Registry Clerk—And now about the color of your hair? Mr. Balder—Well, it was brown when I was born, and grey when I lost it—so you can take your choice, 31 ened cashier. I don’t know how long they were taking the Ford off me, for I was well wrapped up in it, believe me. Finally the debris and the home brew fog cleared away and I scrambled to my feet, now thoroughly conscious and mad as the devil. I felt in my pocket with my bleeding hand and pulled out the check for $4.73. “Please... cash... thish... for me!” I said, slapping it down where the cashier’s window should have been. A Misunderstanding “Where have you been, Henry?” “Down to the drug store.” “Didn’t I tell you to beat that rug?” “T didn’t so understand you. You said to take that rug out and hang it on the line and beat it. I did.” “Convenient to Everywhere” RITTENHOUSE HOTEL 22d & Chestnut Sts. Philadelphia , Pa. Rooms hot und eojq water GQ UP Rooms with bath GB 5Q UP Club Breakfast. 50c up Special Luncheon, 90¢ vening Dinner. $1.2: well as service a I: comicbooks.com