Judge — November 26, 1921 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sunny Wilhelm By Warr Mason | | | Illustration by RALPH BARTON | CLIMBED a weary Holland hill out about a pound of diamonds as a and crawled beneath the fence, gift. And when some monarch would and then beheld ex-Kaiser Bill, escape from life, and graveward fade, near his stone residence. His trusty I had to wear nine yards bucksaw in his hand, he made the of crepe, and walk in a sawdust fly, and piled up elm to beat parade. And all the rub- _—f\ the band, in ricks some cubits high. bernec on earth would “I'm representing JUuD&¢ I said, at my palace call, and bore “and seek an interview; our readers me with their hollow wait in awe and dread to hear some mirth, and tire me with word from you. It must be fierce to. their gall. whack up elm, deserted and alone, “I knew naught of the when once you ruled a mighty realm simple life in those punk and had a first-class throne. It must days of yore; my dreams be tough to fel pine, and trim the were all of war and strift branches down, recalling gems that of victories and used to shine upon your nifty crown.” gore. A smile went over Wilhelm’s face, “I changed my he put his saw aside; “And that’s uniform each just where you're off your base,” the hour, was famed ex-Kaiser cried. photographed “IT have no more a war lord front, each day, and my clanging sword is. stil I've loudly talked of learned contentment in this stunt, rank and pow- and Iam Sunny Bill. When I was er, instead of Kaiser I was bored, I’d reached an prunes and hay. evil pass, although you saw me And when at swing my sword, and thought I cut last the bottom much gr For all the princes fell from all ’neath the sky were relatives of mine, my pomp and and all the dukes who journeyed by, state, and I and dowdy queens and fine; the let out a bit- ahkoonds and the shahs and kings ter yell and were uncles, or the like; and you fledthe Pots- could see the royal strings of dam gate, [ nephews on the pike. thought I'd “I had to entertain them all, and never know give them rooms and hay; they’d again an crowd into my dining hall and eat a hour of joy beef a da. And all the queens were and peace, having sons or daughters every year; that all the it kept me busted buying tons of presents rare and dear. And every time a king was crowned my roll I had to lift, and hand him the dinner bell. “No Hinden- burgs obstruct the view, and every day seems good; what better can a mortal do than saw a cord of wood? Here I abide, afar from strife, my days are sweet and calm, and bass- wood is the staff of life, and wet elm is its balm. Tell JUDGE contentment is the cure for every human ill; old fash- ioned virtues must endure, and I am Sunny Bill.” pa aoe The New Diplomacy me then would The fact that Ambassador Harvey grow, and golfs in his shirt need not neces- never cease. sarily disturb the inhabitants of “But now Great Britain. As long as he keeps you hear my saw his shirt on there is no particular resound, and as I danger. . ply the steel, no And Sometimes More tinhorn kinglets stand It has been the experience of every z bone f around ie tite ee person with a party line that there a mea Sa was at least one J on it. and sweet and clear, and high emotions — swell; The Housing Shortage “] climbed a weary Holland hill, and then and no fat queens are It is easier to find « vacant throne beheld ex-Kaiser Bill.” waiting near to hear than it is to locate an empty cottage. 9 comicbooks.com