Judge — November 5, 1921 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Inspector—Now, Tommy, we have just seen the word “libel.” a libel? Tommy—A fing you stick on a bot- tle, sir!—Pearson’s Weekly. MATRIMONY What is NATURAL DEDUCTION—“The man that argues with a woman is a fool,” said Mr. Gadspur. “I agree with Twobble. “And if he expects to have the last word he’s an even bigger fool.” “Quite so, quite so. What did you and the ‘Missus’ quarr bout this morning?”—Brooklyn Citizen. said Mr. you,” Doc GONE IT!—“Why are you al- ways quarreling with your wife?” “She’s always arguing with me.” “But you needn’t get angry. Just explain to her gently wherein she is wrong.” “I know, but, darn it, is wrong.” — Philadelphia Ledger. she never Public —“How do dearie?” A LAME COMPLIME you like my pound cake, asked Mrs. Newlywed. “Why, er—eh—er!” stammered Mr. Newlywed, “I don’t think you pounded it enough, did you?”—Edin- burgh Scotsman. SINGLE EQUIPMENT—He (indig- nantly)—You married me for my money! She (sweetly)—Well, dear, what else had you?—Chicago News. RIGHT IN HER LINE—“Would you convict a man on circumstantial evi- dence?” they asked the lady juror. “T would,” she replied. “I’ve con- victed my husband that way dozens of times.”—Detroit Free Press. BaNzAI!—Japanese Young Man, icits personal marriage proposal from a modest, but never- theless courageous, female of sound morality, highly disciplined, and desirably one who has suffered deeply in life. Communicate to “Obscurity,” care of Japan Times, Tokyo. Wuy HE ASKED—‘“Ma, do we keep a hen any place?” “Why, no, my ask that?” “T heard pa tell the new maid he would take her out auto riding when he sent the old hen away for the summer.”-—Boston Transcript. son. Why do you Not FAMILIAR WITH FowLs— “That chicken you sent me Saturday was a very old bird,” said the bride of two weeks. “You are mistaken, madam. It was a very young chicken,” replied the butcher. “Don’t tell me that. Haven't I got eyes? Why, it hadn’t a single tooth in its mouth !”—Yonkers States- man. YOUNGSTERS HoME TRAINING — Hearing her little boy using profane language, his mother severely reproved him and in- quired, “Where did you learn to swear like that?” “From pa having, uncle’s golf, brother’s flivver, and sister’s parrot,” answered the youngster promptly.— Boston Transcript. CoULDN’T HELP THEM MucH — Two neighbors were chatting over the fence when Mrs. B, smiling, passed down the street. “Pretty woman, Mrs. B!” marked one. “Who was she?” “T really have forgotten. Here’s her little boy. I'll ask him. Frank, who was your mother before she was married?” Frank regarded his questioner gravely. “She wasn’t my mother be- fore she was married,” he severely replied.—Boston Globe. re- “You seem to be very friendly with Farmer Lehmann!” “Oh, yes. I occasionally ran over one of his ducks or geese and so, by degrees, we got to know each other.”—-Der Brummer (Berlin). 23 comicbooks.com