Judge — October 29, 1921 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NON-ALCOHOUC Extracts tract in each of these little bottles to make a full quart of de- licious non-alcoholic liqueur. Imported fronr Nan- cy, France, in twenty flavors. Only 35 cents. “Original Recipes” —our new booklet, sent free upon re- quest. aoeapits rane & Wine Co. The Impossible If By CLAUDE EAGHER JOHNSON I DOUBT that you would use those skeptic specs, Inditing every graceful curve just then Revealed by nature’s or by art’s de- fects— If you were young again. i think that you might doubt the | aged sage, Bewailing women tempting so the men; “Why can’t they see it’s youth?” you’d likely rage— If you were young again. I bet that you would follow fashion’s whim, Indulging even czardas! ... offend The darling grannies just as I do them— If you were young again! Will He Ever? She—I hear you bought a book on how to strengthen the will-power. He—Yes, but I haven’t the will- power to read it through. Then They Clinched “And am I the first girl you ever loved?” “Yes, dear—and you are the last girl I would lie to.” And The New Way Without Mug The Rummy and the Rouble By GEORGE SINBERG 1 ENERAL ARTIZBYXSHEWSKI director of the Zylophonitski Bank of Moscow, tore his heard. “What has happened, General dear- est?” asked his daughter’s suitor whom the General had kicked out of the Moscow flatevich some eight or twelve times. “The bank has been robbed! Eighty million roubles have been stolen!” shrieked the General. “Fear nothing, holy .General; I shall recover them for you by night- fall—if you will give me your daugh- ter’s hand.” “Both of them,” wept the general. Six hours passed. Young Yankelowitz re-entered the apartment of the General. “Ah, Papaski General, I have been successful far beyond my _ hopes. Here you are!” So saying, young Yankelowitz plunked down upon the table $1.16 in American coins which he had earned by straightening the jaw of an American who had been trying to read a Russian vodka sign aloud. “My son, my son,” wept the Gen- eral, covering the boy’s simple face with his beard. ‘You have brought back twenty million roubles more than was stolen. To-morrow we car declare a dividend to our depositors!” In For Life “Our old friend Jonesy is married at last.” “Got tired of boarding house life, eh?” “Apparently not. landlady.” He married his THE ROAD TO THE RAILROAD STATION As it always seems when you have one minute left to catch the 7:56. 32