Judge — October 1, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Your wife has an unprotected hatpin. It is dangerous.” Fond Husband—It isn’t—nobody will go near her.—Meggen- dorfer Blaetter (Munich). MATRIMONY HUSBANDING HER RESOURCES—He was cycling through a quaint, old- fashioned village, when he was thrilled by the sound of a woman’s ery for help, followed by the muffled tones of a man’s voice. He quickened his pace, to find a woman holding on to the handle of a cottage door, while from within it was evident that some- body was endeavoring to force it open. “Give me a hand, mister,” she cried. “I daren’t let him come out!” The cyclist dismounted, and by add- ing his strength to that of the woman the door was kept closed. “Your husband, I suppose?” he said. “Yes,” was the breathless reply. Poor Dear! “The Man in the Moon takes to cover, dodging our rocket bom- bardment.”—Passing Show (Lon- don). “He's got one of his crazy fits on to- day “Well, I should think you would be ple sed to let him out.” “Not till this policeman’s passed,” panted the woman. “You see, Bill’s very nasty with policemen when he’s like this, and this one’s too valuable to lose. I do his washing.” —Tit Bits (London). AD VALOREM—She You don’t value my used to. He—Value them? Why. before we were married I used to expect a dozen in payment for a box of candy, and now I consider only one of them sufficient payment for a new dress Boston Transcript. (pouting )— kisses as you A Kind Boss—“I'd like to get married but I can’t support a wife on my present salary “All right, my boy, I'll give you a raise. But don’t say afterwards that I did you no favor.”—Louisville Courier-Journal, Mucn Usen—Flathush—My wife wants me to buy her a new dictionary. Bensonhurst—What for, pray? “Oh, she’s worn out nearly all the words in our old one.”—Yonkers Statesman. THE Way—“A sixty dollar hat?” “Yes.” “My husband wouldn't buy me a sixty dollar hat.” “He would if you started to yell for a grand _ piano.” — Louisville Courier-Journal. a SoME EDITING NEEDED—A movie actor was up before the bar of jus- tice charged with bigamy. “I'll give you one chance to explain yourself,” said the judge. ‘The rec- ords clearly show that you married your second wife a month before you were divorced from your first. How about it?” “It’s this way, Your Honor,” re- turned the defendant, unperturbed. “In our business we never take the scenes in the order they appear on the screen—sometimes the last scene is taken first. If you'll only let me call up the continuity man at our studio, I'm sure he can straighten it out.”—American Legion Weekly. IN THE Movirs—‘“I can give you a job as a bathing girl.” “T don’t think I'd like that.” “Oh, you don’t have to bathe.’ Film Fun. TWIN TWINKLE—The leading man will have to make a lot of gun- play in our productions,” explained the movie director. “Then what you want is a shoot- ing star,” commented the applicant, who might have been Bill Hart, but wasn't.—Boston Transcript. SAME THING—Mrs. Gabb—Why do you have to support your hus- band? Is he crippled? Mrs. Fagg—Oh, no; he's just writ- ing for the movies.—Film Fun, Mother—Share this apple with your sister, Willie. Show a Christian spirit. Willie—Whadda yuh mean—a- Christian-spirit? Mother—Take a_ small bite yourself, and give Flossie the rest. Willie—After you, Floss.—AIIt for Alla (Stockholm). comicbooks.com