Judge — September 3, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

V HEN I consider how my cash is spent, Ere half my days by this dark river wide, And all the fodder that I must pro- vide Calls to me vainly, though my soul more bent To serve therewith my hunger and present Sufficient sustenance to my inside. Can I perform long labor, food denied? I weakly ask, but Patience to prevent This moan replied, “Man doth not always need To pay in cash. Try credit now.” Who best Serveth himself feeds himself best. Man’s state Is hungry, so since one must surely feed, ’Tis wise to get in line before the rest. They’re never served who only stand and wait. —Harvard Lampoon. THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MOTHER AND HER DAUGHTER. TEN MILLION RUBLES (10,000,- 000) WILL BE N TO THE FIRST READER TO IDENTIFY EACH CORRECTLY. GIVE REASONS OR YOUR OWN PHONE NUMBER.—Washington Sun Dodger. “I AM SOME WILD BOY! THEY WOULDN'T LET ME IN A CABARET LAST NIGHT.” “How's THAT “CLOSING TIME.” Dartmouth Jack o° Lantern. Alma Mater’s Daughter M Y name is a byword in collegiate + life; I am an institution As old as the college itself. The chief places where I supreme Are in the humorous magazines, At old grads’ reunions, And in the hearts of Freshmen. I am in a class all by myself; I rate a lot of attention And yet everyone fights shy Of being seen much in public with me. I enjoy every shade of reputation From Greyish-white to black, And I can always find some one to take me out. But at that I am a service to the community. You fraternity girls and fiancées Get wise to yourselves. You admit that the one and only has a lovely way Of making love; You grant that he has all the tricks down pat. reign Who taught him to draw out his good-night So long and lingerly? Who taught him to put that little quaver in his voice? Who smoothed off all his rough edges for you? I did, the College Widow. —Brown Jug. Repeat It He—That lady reminds me of a bird. She—Do you refer to her song or her beauty? “Neither; she’s a parrot.” —Kansas Ag. Brown Bull. Both Right Canadian—Shay, is that a Rolls Roysh over there? Home-Brew—Nope, thash a grosh- ery wagon. “Then you're not ooking in the same plash.” “Hic—neither are you.” —Dartmouth Jack 0’ Lantern. First Egg--Let’s SPEAK TO THOSE GIRLS ON THE CORNER. Second Egg PHONE GIRLS. First Egg—Wuat oF IT? Second Egqg—THEY WON'T ANSWER. Pitt Panther. 'SNO USE; THEY ARE. TELE