Judge — September 3, 1921 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

QureRY? — A _ Louisville woman, admittedly a fine singer, has just married, saying she “preferred young matrimony to a vocal career.” There is, then, a distinction?—Kansas City Star. FOLLOWING THE TREND—In Texas, Tennessee, Washington and other states there is talk of division into new states. Is the divorce evil get- ting into politics?—-Chicago News. CAPRICIOUS NATURE—Nature is a capricious institution, always doing the wrong thing at the wrong place. Great beds of oysters have been dis- covered on the Umhlatusi Lagoon on the Zululand coast, and not an M. E. church society or a Maccabee auxil- iary within 20,000 miles to dispense them in one-oyster stews.—Buffalo Times. RECIPROCITY—“How do you pre- pare for your summer vacation?” “IT write cordial letters to all my country relatives in answer to the cordial letters they wrote me just before Christmas.”—Boston Tran- script. IMPORTANT DISTINCTION — The Kinstein theory has no relation to the original “Ein Stein” theory, which everybody used to understand and which was closely related to the popular theory of “Zwei Bier.”— Greenwich (Conn.) News and Gra- phic. NOTHING MorE— “Hubby, that man must be trying to flirt with me. He keeps shooting glances in my di- rection.” “Don’t worry, dearie. He is merely watching his hat and coat.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. SHE KNEw—‘“Ah, young lady!” solemnly began the horse-faced stranger in front of the movie theater box-office. “Are you ac- quainted with Shakespeare?” “Aw, don’t try to kid me,” replied Daphne, the ticket-seller. ‘“Shake- speare’s dead.”—Kansas City Star. Potato “CURE” RETURNS—Pota- toes sold the other day in a Michigan town at eighteen cents a bushel. They will be back presently to a point where a fellow can afford to resume carrying one in his pocket for his rheumatism.—Detroit News. OvERHEAD — “‘How’s_ business in your neighborhood?” asked Wombat the plumber of Spareribs the butcher. “Well, the beauty parlors are all doing well.” — Louisville Courier- Journal. NATURAL DISLIKE—The reason we hate an end-seat hog is because he beats us to it—Providence Journal. “THAT SPINSTER HAS VERY PROMINENT EYES.” “YES. A MAN.” THEY ARE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR Fliegende Blaetter (Munich). 21 Humor Don’T WASTE SYMPATHY—As a big twin-six pulled up alongside a rail fence in one of the poorest coun- ties in the state, the driver asked the farmer who was plowing in the field: “Am I on the right road to the county seat?” The farmer had no more than an- swered “Yes,” when there came an- other question from one of the seven passengers: “My good man, are you able to make a living off land like this?” As the farmer wiped the sweat off his brow, he replied: “Yes, and now before you start in to pity me, I just want to tell you don’t waste your sympathy on me. There is a fellow on the next farm who needs it. He owns 240 acres just like this, and I own only 100 acres.”—ZIndianapolis News. Just MILK AND WATER — First Rube—How much milk does yer cow give neow? Second Rube—Oh, nigh onto 20 quarts! First Rube—And how much of it do you sell? Second Rube—Thirty Houston Post, quarts.— AN Economist—“Are your boy's tastes expensive?” “Not always,” said Farmer Corn- tossel, hopefully. “I have noticed that Josh would rather hear a 50-cent jazz record than the highest-priced grand opera that the phonograph affords.”—Washington Star. A Goop FIELD—Tovgh MeNut— I've got to get busy and get myself a spring coat. Rough Rudolph—Which restaurant do you get yours from?—Houston Post. comicbooks.com