Judge — August 27, 1921 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wuy THEY FOLLOWED HIM—Elinor Glyn said at a dinner: “The average Spanish couple have a child a year for twenty years or s A good many of these children di but nevertheless the average Spanish family bos about twelve children. “A Spanish grandee took his fam- ily to America last year, and one day, as he was leading the way into a New York department store, a po- liceman halted him rudely. “‘Here, what you been doin’?’ the policeman said. “ ‘Nothing,’ grandee. “Then what are all these children follerin’ you for?’ the policeman said suspiciously.” —Detroit Free Press. said the Spanish A MISINTERPRETATION—William L. Ettinger, New York’s superintendent of schools, was discussing the German campaign to break up the Allies. “German propagandists,” he said, “distort history. They misinterpret Germany’s acts and motives in such a way that—that— “Well, it reminds me of a story. A little girl was visiting her aunt. The family cat sat on the hearth rug, and the aunt said: “‘Oh, look at kitty, washing her face!’ “The little girl watched the cat for a moment and then said with scorn: “‘Washing her face? Pshaw, she’s not wash- ing her face. She’s washing her feet and wip- ing them on her face.’ ” — Detroit Free Press. ToucH Luck— Charles Scott, safety expert, de- livered an ad- dress in Balti- more recently, when, by a coin- cidence, the en- tertainment fea- ture which pre- ceded his talk was an “impale- ment act” by a couple of vaude- ville performers. In. that connec- tion Scott re- TE eg > WH called the follow- XH0 # ing story: (Munich). “WHICH MADE THE House Rock WITH Lavcuter.” London Mail. An impalement act expert of the early days used as his assistant, a beautiful young woman, who posed fearlessly against a wooden back- ground while the “artist” outlined her figure with knives, spears and battle axes. At the finish of the act the giri would step smilingly from her frame- work of cutlery, and bow to the audience. On one occasion, however, when the girl became ill, the man had to scour the town for someone to take her place, and the only one he could find with nerve enough, was a girl who was homely enough to curdle milk by looking at it. When the man poised the first knife, took careful aim, and sent it hurtling toward the board, a gruff voice in the gallery was heard to ex- claim: “Blowed if he ain’t missed her.” —Youngstown Telegram. Environment Is Everything CUBISM HAS BEEN STRIKINGLY SHOWN. ED IN GETTING RECTANGULAR EGGS. 23 Mr. VLADIMIR KuBISKY A CAGE IN FULL VIEW OF HIS CUBIC PAINTINGS AT THE THE BAND OF HopE—When the wife of Joe Betts, an Alabama darky, died, he mourned her sincerely. “I’s going to put a black border to my house,” he said, And he did. A week later a broad band of black outlined the front of his little dwelling. A couple of years passed. Then one of his neighbors, stopping to speak to Joe, found him gazing up at his little black-edged house with an air of perplexity. “Tt lasts well, Joe,” said the neigh- bor, in a tone of sympathy, “but the black grows a little rusty. You will put on another coat?” “Yessuh,” said Joe. “Daisy Moore, she says it needs another coat.” “Daisy Moore! Oh! But has she said black paint, Joe?” “Uh!” grunted Joe, and then his look of perplexity vanished in a slow grin. “I’se going to ask her to- night,” he added briskly. Two days later the sympathetic neighbor, passing again, was greeted by Joe from a ladder set against the house. “How does yo’ like it?” he asked, waving his paint brush toward the band of bright red glowing across the top of the little house. “Daisy Moore, she picked it out. We git married next week.”—Philadelphia Ledger. EXPLOSIVE—Rastus (after a visit to the doctor): Dat doctah sure am funny. His wife—How come? “Made me swal- lah two cartridges filled with pow- dah, and then tell me Ah shouldn’t smoke. As if Ah would.” Car- toons Magazine. SEASONABLE — Asked why he left hell out of a recent sermon, Brother Williams replied: “Ever’thing to his season. Whilst 1 wuz a-preachin’ dat sermon de thermometer wuz in de nineties, an’ hell spoke fer itself !"" — Atlanta Constitution, Fliegende Blactter comicbooks.com