Judge — August 13, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

All Booked Up LIBRARY? ROWED 1T.—(London Opinion.) WELL INFORMED—“Yes, sir, it’s pretty hard collecting money just now; I know it.” “Have you tried and failed?” “Oh, no.” “How, then, do you know that money is hard to collect?” “Because several people have tried to collect some from me.”—Detroit Free Press. AN ULTIMATUM—During the reac- tion in practically all commodities a few months ago the head of a large concern dealing in woolens, the story goes, called on his bank and asked for a further extension of a note al- ready several times extended.. The banker refused to consider the re- quest. “You’ve got to extend,” insisted the debtor. “T haven’t and I won't,” replied the banker. The other pulled out his watch. He said: “It is now ten minutes to three. At 3 o’clock either the notes will have been extended or your bank will be in the woo! business.” He got the extension.—Wall Street Journal. BUSINESS First—The rector met the church warden just before the morning service and beckoned to him. “Mr. Grimes,” he said, “we had better take up the collection before tor (at remote fishing village)—AH! Postmistress—YES, SIR, BUT YOU’RE TOO LATE. I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A CIRCULATING THAT GENTLEMAN’S JUST BOR- beginning the sermon this morning.” “Very well, if you wish it,” re- turned the warden. “But what is your reason?” He controlled his feeling very well, for he was very conservative and hated any innovation. But the rector was adamant. “I think it will be wiser,” he re- marked. “The fact is, I am going to preach on the subject of economy.” —Los Angeles Times: GROUND WorK—Money is said to be the root of all evil. ‘till, it won’t hurt to plar.t some.—L uisville Courier-Journal. Speaking Volumes Son (introducing his father)—THE AUTHOR OF MY BEING, Miss DasH. Father—A WORK THAT HAS BEEN SEVERELY CRITICISED.—(London Weekly Telegraph.) 22 Luck—Miss Oldrich—My Darling Fido got out and came home with a tin kettle tied to his tail. Mrs. Housewife—What luck! You kept the kettle, cf course?—London Weekly Telegraph. In SHORT, PERCY—‘What sort of a dog do you want?” “Well, I’d like a fairly good dog; one that will be good enough to play around the house and yet not good enough for other people to care to steal.”—Detroit Free Press. UNAVOIDABLE—“Tom, I told you to keep that dachshund out of the dining-room.” “Part of him has to project into the dining-room, my dear, when I feed him in the kitchenette.”—Lowis- ville Courier-Journal. PICKING A SURE THING—An Amer- igan tourist in Scotland took a great fancy to a handsome collie he saw, and offered to buy it. The owner asked some questions, and on learn- ing that it was the would-be purchaser’s intention to take “Jock” to America he refused to part with the dog. Just then an English tourist came along and he also made a bid for the collie, which, though less than the first offer, was accepted. The Ameri- can was annoyed, and when the Eng- lishman had departed, he said: “You told me you wouldn’t sell your dog.” “Na, na,” replied the canny Scot. “I said I couldna part wi’ him. Jock’ll be back in a day or two, never fear. But he couldna swim the Atlantic.”—London Opinion. SURPRISED AT YoU!—Mr. Pstunge —You told me this watchdog you sold me hadn’t a fault and he makes friends with every stranger that comes along. The Dog Fancier—My dear sir, do you consider amiability a fault?— Detroit News. ASKING Too MucH—Mr, Pester— That infernal little mut of yours never comes when I call him. His Wife—Certainly not! He has a very distinguished pedigree and you can’t expect a dog with his | breeding to submit to being ordered around by you.—Houston Post. cro sto cou key the voi the hir he comicbooks.com