Judge — August 6, 1921 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Astral Lamps By Epwarp S. VAN ZILE RS. SOPHIA FAIR- DOUGH SMITH, an English psychic, has deliv- ered in Chicago, Ill., a pro- nouncement that will further disturb a generation that is already long on trouble and short on peace of mind. She asserts that the world to which our astral bodies will wend their way eventually is infested, as is this mundane sphere, by vampish women who prey upon the so-called sterner sex. Not only is there no rest for the wicked in the other world, but they are always busy keeping their would-be innocent victims on the jump, initiating new spirits, as it were, into the art of vamping, and lowering the plane of the hereafter to that of a night off. It is fondly to be hoped that Mrs. Sophia Fairdough Smith should guess again. No man, however ad- venturous he may be at heart, likes to contemplate the possibility of be- ing chased for eternity through in- finity by a pre-oxide blonde who has sloughed off this mortal coil not in the interests of the higher life but merely to expedite her activity as a vamp. Comfort may be found in the thought that perhaps Mrs. Smith has been merely taking a flyer at the im- possible task of shocking Chicago. In the Vernacular Collie—What do you get for doing guard duty? Bull Dog—Three bones a day. Anticipated The Suitor—Have I your consent to marry your daughter? The Sire—Bless you, my boy! I’ve nothing to say about it. She made me sign a written waiver of all objections when she started her campaign for you. Maiden Confidences Guinevere—Didn’t it absolutely ruin your life when you had to break off your engagement with Jack? Elaine—Not absolute- ly, but I will say that Jack was one of the only five men I ever thought of as the only man in the world. Drawn by ART HELFANT. Knick—WoMEN ARE A REGULAR PUZZLE! Knack—WELL, MY WIFE IS ALL RIGHT, AFTER THE MAID HAS PUT HER TOGETHER. My Love, the Moon By CHARLES DIVINE OFTEN look in her boudoir Whene’er the night is fair, And see across the casement My love do up her hair. My sweetheart-moon, in draperies Of clouds in thin array— And I, a Peeping Tom, behold My love in negligee. Pet Names Old Gentleman—And what does papa call you, Elizabeth? Precocious Infant—Papa calls me Pwecious. O. G—And what does he call mamma? P. I.—Oh, Darling and Damn Fool mostly. _ Drawn by EMMETT WATSON. “PRODUCER AND CONSUMER.” 12 Proving Einstein By IRENE VAN VALKENBURG MBS. PEYSON DE Puy. STER BROWN was an ultra conservative. Blue. blooded, rich, fashionable, she led society and encour- aged the old, conventional standards. Mrs. Lily Delamarte was an ultra radical. Red- blooded, smart, and out- rageously rich, she was dic- tator of her own inner circle, where shc inspired the most extravagant bohemianism. The fight between them was a hot one. There could be but one recognized leader. “I must institute something that will be startling in its conservatism,” mused Mrs. Peyson de Puyster Brown. “T shall have to start something still more radical,” thought Mrs. Lily Delamarte. They met at church next morning. Strenuous Exercise “T haven’t seen Mabel on the ten- nis courts lately. Is she ill?” “Haven’t you heard? The poor girl sprained her wrist showing off her new engagement ring.” Making It Last North—Harry has been in love with Alice for five years now. West—Isn’t he ever going to marry her? Bugs! “The professor seemed to take a very lively in- terest in our little gar- den.” “Yes, indeed, he en- joyed himself thorough- ly looking over it. He is an ardent entomolo- gist!” Characterized Willis—How did Dor- is’s father act when you asked him for her hand last night? Gillis—Half-heartedly, sore-headedly and able- footedly: Putting on Wayside “I believe in the old saying, ‘As we journey through life, let us live by the way.’” “Well, if rents go much higher that’s where we'll all have to live.” one hav she ser on life mal end