Judge — July 30, 1921 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WITH THE Drawn by Henman Pauen Has It Ever Happened to You? ROKE, broke, broke, By thy spendthrift ways, O Girl! And I would that I had the dollars It cost to give you a whirl. Oh, well fur the billionaire’s boy With his fleet of expensive cars! Oh, well for the wealthy lad Who smoketh imported cigars! Broke, broke, broke, And royally trimmed by Thee. Now I surely hope that you stick with him And never come back to me! -Washington Dirge. Sentimental Golf Dora—Can Bob drive well? Nora—Oh, yes, he hit the ball clear into the woods every time we came near it.— Colgate Banter. What Anatomy Is A little negro school girl, down in Flor- ida, in answer to this question, wrote the following: natomy is a human body. It is divided into three parts, the haid, the cheist The haid holdes the if they is any, the cheist holds the li a the lites, and the stummick holdes the entrails and the vowels which ar e, i, o and u and some- times w and y.”"—Texas Scalpel. and the stummick skull and the k PART 2 A Two-rart SeRtAt. —Oregon Lemon Punch. “HeR MOTHER HAS BEEN MAKING MATCHES FOR HER EVER SINCE SHE WAS ! THE GIRL SMOKES ALL rue time.”—Washington and Jefferson Wag Jag. ; A Serious Matter Brown had at last obtained the correct recipe for “home brew” and had spent con- siderable time in preparing the first batch of it. He had placed it ona shelf in the pantry. Ten days later he looked for it and it was gone. “Mary, where is the kettle I placed in the pantry, about. ten days ago?” he asked his wife. “Why, it sat there so long I thought it had spoiled and I threw it out,” she replied. And they haven’t spoken to one another since.— Notre Dame Juggler. Suspensory The teacher was examining the class in physiology: “Mary, can you tell us,” she asked, “what is the function of the stomach?” unction of the stomach,” the little girl answered, “‘is to hold up the petticoat.” —Carolina Tar Baby. Fruitful “The stork has brought a little peach.” The nurse said with an dir. “I’m mighty glad,” the father said, “He didn’t bring a pair.” —Texas Scalpel. The Borrower “Bill’s lost his hat again.” “How do you know?” “T can’t find mine.”—Oregon Lemon _ Punch. 2 COLLEGE WITS A Minor Item And wasn’t it the fact that 1 on taking this woman out to dances that caused the trouble? Defendant—No, sir, not at all. “Well, what was it then?” “The fact that her husband objected.” —-Michigan Gargoyle. Synchronized The girl was wonderful but naughty. The man was married, but not to the girl. They had been dining for about ten dollars when the male concerned ventured to ask the woman her name. “Isn’t that fine!” relievedly from the man. “TI talk in my sleep and my wife's name is Mary.”—Princeton Tiger. Lookit! Professor X—Who’s there? Burglar—Lie still and keep quiet. I’m looking for money. “Wait, and I’ll get up and look with you.” —Syracuse Orange Peel. Up-to-Date Duty “Mother, may I go out tonight?” “No, my darling Jill; Father and I go out tonight, You'll have to tend the still.”— —Stanford Chaparral. Astronomer—NoTHING HAS EVER BEEN FounD on VENUs. Artist—No—xoruinc.—Harvard Lam- poon.