Judge — July 30, 1921 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

All in the Point of View—In the olden days there lived in the vicinity of Shelby a sheepherder named Bill. Bill, like most members of his profession, was wont to work faithfully for the greater part of the year and then blow into town and waste his substance in a short period of riotous living. Returning from one of these trips broke, his employer asked him: “Bill, you left here with $400. became of it?” Bill studied a minute and replied: “Waal, I reckon I lost about a hundred an’ fifty in a stud game. I must a left *bout a hundred at the Fashion Dance Hall, an’ I reckon I spent close to a hundred for booze.” “What did you do with the other fifty?” persisted his boss. “Can’t remember exactly,” replied Bill after due reflection. “I guess I must of just natcherally fooled that away.”— Irrigation News. Educational—The adored and only daughter was sad. “Papa,” she said, “why is it you have changed so? Once you used to gratify my every wish, but lately when I ask you for a few dollars you grumble and growl and want to know if I think you are made of money. It’s very strange, papa. Don’t you love me any more?” “My dear,” her father answered, “I love you just as much as ever; but you are to be married soon and I am trying to prepare you gradually for the change.”—Burling- ton Free Press. What The Social Life Is Exhausting “Ou, Marce.te, I’a so UTTERLY FATIGUED! The Short Cut—An ambitious young man went to a university professor and said: “Sir, I desire a course of training which will fit me to become the superin- tendent of a great railway system. How much will such a course cost, and how long will it take?” “Young man,” replied the professor, “such a course would cost you $20,000, and require twenty years of your time. But, on the other hand, by spending $300 of your money and three months of your time you may be elected to congress. Once there you will feel yourself competent to direct not one but all the great railroad systems of our country.”— New York Evening Post. Domestic Preparedness ow, Miss Pererson wILt sinc us ScuuBert’s ‘SLUMBER SoNG.” CLOosE THE DOOR, WIFE, SO THAT IT WON'T WAKE UP THE BABY.” —Klods Hans (Copenhagen). 22 Do TAKE OFF MY RINGS FoR ME!””—London Mail. A Wind-Harp—“ Senator Snortsworthy says we must save the country.” “Has he any ideas about the best way to do that?” “No, but he can make a speech on the subject that will hold an audience spell- bound for an hour.”—Birmingham Age- Herald. At the Capitol—“Call a janitor and have the cobwebs swept out of this room. Who meets here, anyhow?” “An investigating committee.”—Louis- ville Courier-Journal. Campaign Hardships—“You do not quote so much poetry in your speeches as you used to, Senator.” “No,” said Senator Sorghum. “The last time I quoted poetry the rival orator got up and sang a song. My managers insisted it was up to me to come back with a classic dance, so I gave up the competition as hopeless and am now relying on the simple statesmanlike dignity of plain prose.”— Washington Star. Nothing Serious—“ They say the Mex- ican Congress is rather turbulent.”” “Oh, I don’t know. Their gunplays are quite as harmless as our senatorial near combats.””—Louisville Courier-Journal. And Not Discouraged Yet—Bryan says forty years in politics haye made him an optimist, but what he probably means is that his optimism has kept him in politics for forty years—San Bernardino (Cal.) Sun. icbooks.com